I thought it was pretty obviously a two point comment of, "wow, even though she wasn't the one driving drunk, she should have recognized that he was wildly drunk and not gotten in the car, what an exceptionally poor decision." Don't move the target. The main thing here was not your annoyance at my particular way of phrasing that, but rather your incorrect assertion that someone pointing that out equates to also blaming her for the accident. I don't have to distill my thinking down to diametric black & white: I can recognize her responsibility in not preventing her death without it at all taking away from his responsibility in causing it.