Roast

I know I'm kinda late on the boat here, but, GREAT article, bruce.

hahahaha I second the hahahaha

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/KingJME/capt.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/KingJME/sosa_zoom.jpg

What kind of sick joke is this? I get home from work and you guys are trying to tell me the cubs WON? hahahah, no really, why would you do something like that... *checks cubs.com* Holy crap.

I no longer hold any dilusions that we can ever win again.

BREAKING NEWS: we still cant win, score runs, or find a way not to suck.

1. Please explain the meaning and application of OBP. 2. Would you ever start neifi Perez? 3. Would you ever play Bynum? 4. Given the situation in which a rookie is batting .280/.350/.850, and a veteran .270/.320/.790..who do you start? 5. Given the situation where a player is batting .091 with the same OBP after 30+ ab's...do you ever play him again (MACIAS) 6. What separates you as different from the rest of the managers in baseball 7. When chosing a pitcher to bring into a game, do you rely on Righty vs Lefty, or do you rely on what each pitcher has done historically vs right or left handed batters (REMLINGER) 8. Have you ever in any way shape or form called a player your girlfriend, a striped bass, or anything else totally unintelligable?

I'm as pissed off about this slump as anyone, and as depressed as everyone. Luckily, its only the beginning of May. I still think we have a chance if we can somehow dig ourselves out of this hole. Unlikely or not, its very early. All that being said, If you want to throw in the towell, i dont think there is a need for a firesale. We HAVE a pretty darn good core. 1B: Lee 2B: Walker SS: Cedeno 3B: Ramirez LF: Murton CF: RF: C: Barrett SP: Z SP: Prior SP: Marshall SP: Wood SP: Maddux/Guzman/Hill/Miller BP: Eyre BP: Howry BP: Dempster Our biggest need is an outfielder. If we truely do want to throw in the towell then bring up Pie, start him. I'd assume, despite his craptacular performance thus far, one could get at least some trade value out of pierre. Maybe package him with some pitching [Wood(If he waves the ntc)/Guzman/Hill], and get a more dependable RFer. Cedeno and Murton can definatley go for the right price, but if we can avoid it then I would try. As far as I'm concerned, this team is two good outfielders, A healthy starting pitcher or two, and one coherant leader away from being a real force in baseball.

Well, he was born, for starters.

This is actually an old one i made last year.... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/KingJME/FireDustyWrigleySIgn.jpg

I'm glad he's doing what he's capable of, again. He seems like a real great guy. I wish we would have resigned him, of course, Cedeno is doing pretty darn well, too.

The cubs offense makes me want to: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/KingJME/burningman.gif

Well that was short lived.... 9-0 in the fifth.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHH I FREAKIN LOVE YOU JUAN PIERRE. THANK YOUUUUU

I hate barry. Everyone always makes their milestones against the cubs. These two things combine to prove that it is inevitable.

What is it with the cubs and giving up milestones. Seriously. Ugh.

The royals have lost 6 of their last 9 and been outsocred 42-24 The Cubs have lost 8 of their last 9 games and been outscored 54-9 Yeah, they suck :(

I hope its Rusch. Cause then I can hate him more.

Too bad he could probably hit better using his glove as a bat, thus far.

Do you just save that to your clipboard at the start of a game, and CTRL+V every time he comes to bat. It'd be easier.

Hey, wadduya know, a groundout to second.

Okay, so I heard this crazy rumor... WE SCORED A RUN?

Okay, I know these past six games have been rough. Rough to the point where I turn them off in disgust. But this is one of those times where, like Pat Hughs likes to say, "A team is never as good as they look when they're winning, and they're never as BAD as they look when they're losing. We're not THIS bad." And thats true, we are not four(nearly five, save maddux)-shutout-in-six-game bad. -Jones is showing Improvement, dragging his average up past .250 -Murton has been streaky, but is still batting a fairly solid .286, more importantly however, has a .369 OBP -Cedeno has been excelling thus far. -Barrett is still hanging around the .280s with a .349 obp. -Wood is not too far away -Prior/Miller are not Too awful far behind. -Marshal has shown his studlyness -Z finally had a teriffic game -Maddux is 5-1 BUT... Obviously those bright spots don't mean jack poo poo unless we can, you know, score a run. And there are a couple things that absoloutley need to happen if we expect to start winning. -Slappy needs to stop grounding out to the pitcher, or if he hits it on the sweet spot, second base. I dont give a if you bunt every time, just get on at better than a .300 obp -Ramirez, your obp is over 100 points higher than your avg, cool. But for the love of all that is good, PLEASE freakin start hitting. PLEASE. You NEED to catch fire. -Walker, you were on fire to start the season, please, stop this 0-fer streak. -Dusty, DONT START NEIFI OVER CEDENO AND BYNUM OVER MURTON AGAIN!!! -And please, just please, when someone gets on base, GET A HIT. So in closing, we suck, but we're not THIS bad.

Ramirez, plz, homer so we can win this.

Ronny is good.