Aaron_Kennelly

What are we doing tonight?

Somehow Kyle isn't going to give up any more runs.

Awfully quiet in here. What's everyone having for dinner tonight?

When you see Jason Heyward batting in front of Kris Bryant:

When Jake came over to talk to Javy and the guys before the game:

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/299/460/b50.gif

Montgomery to have Tommy, Jon over for dinner.

https://streamable.com/1jeed

It was pretty great hearing Keith Hernandez ripping hard into Willson for the fake steal on the pitch before only to be interrupted mid-sentence by Javy sliding into home and having to admit it a smartly designed play. He didn't seem depressed though. That came three batters later when Contreras scored on the sac fly that barely left the infield and Hernandez sounded like he was about to cry. Yeah, Keith kept going on about how Willson lucked into scoring as he "should have been halfway down the line there." Keith thought it was poor base running. They then showed a replay, focused on Willson, showing him halfway down the line and then rushing back to the base. Gary Cohen interjected that it looked like Willson noticed the second baseman having trouble with the ball and decided to go back to be ready for that exact outcome. And Keith reiterated he should have been halfway down the line.

Did I read "impressive exit velocities?" Give him the Ian Happ launch angle course.

Having never heard of this guy but looking at our roster full of first-round bats that have been resounding successes, I'll say this guy is going to be Jose Ramirez.

This series will serve a lesson to anyone who thought we peaked in 2016.

For mojo... We're back in Chicago, but it's a day off.

The Phillies are in town. Time for an It's Always Sunny theme. The Cubs are coming off of a four-game sweep of the Mets. Mets fans once thought their team was on equal footing with the Cubs. We saw how that turned out. This series will somehow go the same way. The Cubs won the last game thanks to some superb base running from Willson Contreras and Javy Baez. All it took was a glance across the diamond for the two Baseball Unicorns to mind meld and know exactly what to do to score a run. Javy's base running prowess inspired me to write him a letter that I'd like to share with you all: Things aren't going well for the Phillies. They were swept over the weekend and only scored 1 run the whole series -- on a Jake Arrieta homer. Jake wasn't very happy. Kyle Hendricks will take the mound in the opener. With The Professor on the mound, Drinky Joe knows that he doesn't have much to worry about. Expect his preparation to go a lot like this: http://i.imgur.com/3AnCI5g.gif Kyle is going to somehow shut the Phillies out. He'll face Zach Eflin. Eflin has an 8.10 ERA over his last three starts. This will be his last start, after the donging that's about to be inflicted upon him. That's only the beginning of the beat down awaiting the Phillies. http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/407/626/f80.gif The SuperCubs are back. And they are somehow going to win 100 games. That means there's only one recourse for the Vaunted Brewers. http://poquergratis.info/wp-content/uploads/wildcard-always-sunny-46-screencaps-from-its-always-sunny-that-will-never-not-be-funny.gif Prepare for the dance party to head back to Wrigley. http://i.imgur.com/EtHzMVv.gif

Imagine if John Lackey had to go from Javy and Almora to that.

They could tell Javy he can do And-1 Mixtape moves when he walks to first, like Dave Chappelle:

We're not even going to be looking at their scores by the end of July.

Called it, exactly one week ago:

Since the Phillies are in town, Duke could just do It's Always Sunny and The Office. I thought this through because I knew I was going 20+ games and didn't want to do a dozen Chicago themes, so it's going to be from the opposing team's city each time. Also, Rocky.

So Joe, what did you learn from your bullpen usage this weekend? http://readeroffictions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/gif-i-learned-im-perfect-and-should-never-change-brooklyn-99.gif

And for our next game we'll have:

Duensing to close it out.