Sammy Sofa

"Uh, yeah, I have a question for the SEA PIG."

Flexible, nothing; he's some kind of Hank Hill-like freak without an ass.

This guy looks like he's pushing 400. He's Clarence Beeftank from Breaking Maddon come to life.

This is as good a time as any to talk about Schwarber's defense. Has anyone seen any prospect writers talk about how he's looked this season? I haven't seen anything that I could be sure was incorporating his 2015 work. As little as we can tell statistically, it doesn't look great. Here's Schwarber compared to his catching partner Contreras, so we're generally controlling for quality of competition and the pitchers they're handling: Name GP E PB SBA CS% ---------------------------------------- Schwarber 28 3 6 50 20% Contreras 20 4 2 27 44% This doesn't paint a very rosy picture for Schwarber. Teams are running a TON against him, and having great success. I didn't have much point of comparison for SBA frequency, so I checked the main catchers in Tennessee's division, just in case Contreras was the exception: Name GP SBA CS% ------------------------------ Schwarber 28 50 20% Contreras 20 27 44% O'Conner 35 19 37% Nieto 34 34 35% Turner 32 25 28% Baron 34 40 30% There's maybe some slight signs that Tennessee pitchers are more prone to be stolen on(it wouldn't surprise me if holding runners wasn't a big org emphasis), but Schwarber's the clear outlier here, in a bad way. He also leads the division in passed balls. Hopefully the less superficial measures(framing, game calling, etc) are coming along better, because Schwarber's defense at catcher looks far from MLB ready at the moment. If it's that bad they need to get him in to LF right away. It's stupid to delay him from coming up if it's just to see if he can hang defensively at a position that he'd be tolerable at at best AND has a a huge chance of shortening his career.

Those poor, poor pants.

4 runs vs. a solid starting pitcher and a very tough bullpen sounds like a balanced meal to me. Clearly not talking about only this game.

That happened to me with Doritos Me too. Ranch Doritos, specifically. Just the smell of them gets me queasy to this day.

I HATE THAT WE HATE CASTRO. Let's be positive and say he goes 3-4 with a double and a walk and a couple RBI's.

YES YES YES The Cubs were winning when he was just this random weirdo starting threads. Then he became a bitter meatball anchor and stopped starting them and the Cubs started floundering. IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE.

It's a tumultuous season best summed up thusly:

Olive oil and olive salad are delicious. I've never had a muffuletta with actual olives on it, though. Chopped olives, garlic, olive oil, salami, ham, mortadella and provolone on fresh sesame seed bread. That is all. The ones I've had have the olives mixed in with a giardiniera-style relish. So good.

Olive oil and olive salad are delicious. I've never had a muffuletta with actual olives on it, though.

As hacktastic as this team is (and will be), that's a big reason I'd want to move Baez even if he is "fixed" to some degree. The offense is seemingly shaping up to be too feast or famine.

Lester is going to get a hit before Baxter does.

Holy crap, this inning is still going.

Most people called for this team to hover around .500.

I...they're 3 games over .500 even if they drop this. Relax At this point I'm just hoping he ends up in cynosure-territory in terms of melting down.

Hey, hopefully it would mean the kids did some cool [expletive].

I like how Gameday has the pitch just going off into infinity.

Hot April aside, I'm really kinda glad Fowler is only signed to one year.

More likely he's having a bad stretch. Relievers have them unless they're super studs. To be fair, he's paced for about 75-80 innings right now, and his career high is 66.

The Castro lovers will never stop believing, he is not a 4/5 hitter never has been never will be Literally nobody is calling for him to be a #4 hitter right now except for Joe Maddon. You mistake not frothing at the mouth as being a "Castro lover" because you're a sloppy, dripping meatball just marinating in a Subway steam bin.

If you can't put the ball in play on 100 mph fastballs and diving 90 mph changeups, you have no business playing. Nice.

Benched for striking out?