Sammy Sofa

Apparently this is some kind of monstrosity that Pizza Hut rolled out in Australia. I'd say we pitch in to have Truffle try it, but his pooping schedule is already precarious enough as it is: http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/stg.ign.com/2015/05/PizzaHut.jpg

Stop doing that. This is like a full season version of the game thread stuff. I don't think they're terrible or going to disastrously implode or tanking or any of that nonsense; I just think the team is too flawed to make a real run at anything. That makes no sense to me. They are 1/2 game out of the wildcard against a team they swept in a 4 game series. They are only 2 out of the first wildcard spot. And the Cubs have more prospects to deal and money to add than most of the teams they are competing with. Not to mention some struggling bats (OF and Castro) that could/should turn it around and heat up at some point. A big trade for a long term impact piece (especially a bat) would drastically change that opinion, but I'm not completely convinced they'd actually be willing to part with the pieces needed to do that. Castro's probably the guy they're most willing to move at this point along those lines and he's really not helping things. But, like I said, if they actually stepped up and did that my opinion would change. Otherwise I think the bullpen is too bad/unlucky and their bench depth is just too putrid. If Russell's actually clicked and Soler keeps trending in the right direction, alright, things look a lot better, but being an offensive reliant team hinged on so many young players who could easily go through long slumps while adjusting makes it pretty far from a sure thing (plus how the offense has just run VERY cold for long stretches this year). Plus the guys they brought in, Montero and Fowler, are concerning; both had great starts but have really fallen off. Montero's last two seasons were unremarkable at best and even when Fowler was doing great this year, the main thing he could be counted on, his OBP, was worryingly well below his recent averages and even his career average. Castro is showing zero signs of improving, and his stubbornness (or whatever you want to call it) has resulted in a season-long slump before. And with Coghlan, I doubt his defense holds up; his offense value last year was nearly negated by how bad he was in the field. So, again, I don't think they're going to just collapse or are doomed or anything else; I just think they'll hover at or right around .500 and aren't likely to pull away and secure a playoff spot.

NO. Start lots of threads!

Plus I'd always recognize Soler's handsome face. I see it in my dreams.

jesus you are so bad at this how did mojo hack minny's account Hey now. This seems less like "I don't know baseball players" and more like..something else. I feel slighted.

A Prior jersey is never lame, you horrible monsters.

and thus, the cubs season came crumbling down BALLGAME (with a 100000% chance of rain)

Wait, why is there all of this news chatter in the last day about the Cubs targeting Zobrist? STOP IT.

The point there is that it takes time and games to do that. Schwarber was a college catcher with 36 pro games in the OF(none at AA or AAA) and doesn't have much in the way of physical gifts to fall back on. This isn't Baez getting a few games to see the difference between SS and 2B for a week or two before coming up, it's a larger shift. Especially considering the costs of taking development time away from him at catcher if they still think he can be at least a partial regular there. Of course we're talking about this taking time; isn't the whole idea that he'd come up this year that it would be in September? My read is that most people wanting Schwarber up in LF this year want him to replace Coghlan by the all star break or trade deadline. Otherwise you're only getting the benefit for ~30 games. I thought I was the only one doing that, and I was just being obnoxious. The reality is I just hope we see him when the rosters expand.

Stop doing that. This is like a full season version of the game thread stuff. I don't think they're terrible or going to disastrously implode or tanking or any of that nonsense; I just think the team is too flawed to make a real run at anything.

The point there is that it takes time and games to do that. Schwarber was a college catcher with 36 pro games in the OF(none at AA or AAA) and doesn't have much in the way of physical gifts to fall back on. This isn't Baez getting a few games to see the difference between SS and 2B for a week or two before coming up, it's a larger shift. Especially considering the costs of taking development time away from him at catcher if they still think he can be at least a partial regular there. Of course we're talking about this taking time; isn't the whole idea that he'd come up this year that it would be in September?

Well, yeah, I obviously want them to move him to LF in the minors, too. I thought that was just assumed with anyone who ultimately wants him in LF.

It's all gut, baby. I just don't think anything's happening this year.

Well calling Schwarber up this season is mostly a move to benefit the 2015 Cubs, even if you think he'll never play an inning at catcher in MLB he could still stand to work on OF defense and his bat probably has a tweak or two to work on. So if you're pessimistic about this year's postseason odds, then there's no urgency or immediate reason to bring up Schwarber. If you do want to maximize the 2015 roster, there's a bunch of options. Coghlan, Alcantara, Baez, Schwarber, a trade, etc. Between them I don't think that Schwarber is the far and away best option(or even narrowly the best option) for 2015, so I'm not in a rush to throw him at LF. It's a bit of a cop out, but these types of decisions are what the front office is paid big dollars to ensure they get the best production, so if they do call up Schwarber we should be pretty confident that they lovelovelove his bat. I thought everyone did lovelovelove his bat. And why wouldn't there be a reason to bring him up this year if they're not going to make a run? It seems like the argument is that he wouldn't necessarily be an upgrade because he'd likely have to adjust to the change, so why put that off? The reason I'd want him up working through that sooner rather than later is because I don't think they're going to be truly competitive later in the season.

Ironic shorts to bring joy to the masses are OK. These classy guys know how ridiculous they look.

Those are my feelings as well. So what? Seems like there's a pretty good chance this team will be in a position to give a future hitting god a chance to adjust to the MLB sooner rather than later as opposed to having to make time for Chris Coghlan. If Coghlan's luck changes (currently .90 points below career average BABIP and only .10 points behind career average LD%), it's unlikely Schwarber outhits him. If Schwarber isn't going to outhit him and will probably be similar to slightly better in the field, there's no reason to force him into the ML OF - especially since he's far more valuable to the team being awesome with the bat as a catcher. If there's enough reason to believe he can outhit Coghlan or a potential trade candidate, though, I wouldn't have a problem playing him in LF this season. I'm just pretty skeptical of that. Call it a doom boner, but I really don't think this current team is likely to do much of anything in the postseason and I'd really hate to keep Schwarber from getting MLB time to make space for Coghlan, who likely has zero future with the team.

Those are my feelings as well. So what? Seems like there's a pretty good chance this team will be in a position to give a future hitting god a chance to adjust to the MLB sooner rather than later as opposed to having to make time for Chris Coghlan.

This kid is the best.

Pretty sure Castro could have handled bases loaded and no outs, you bloated avocado. would've grounded into a home to first double play Shut it, you traitorous sack of turnips.

Pretty sure Castro could have handled bases loaded and no outs, you bloated avocado.

Fowler, go step on a duck. Castro, this is your time.

So I guess they're hoping this ends soon, because it sure seems like they're burning through the pen.

Excellent.

Damn. I wanted Castro to be the one.

As much as the focus has been on Castro and Soler to a lesser extent, Fowler is killing them right now. Dude has to make stuff happen at the top. Right now, he's just bad. Soler's not been a problem for a while now; Castro, Fowler and the catcher's spot are just stinkpits right now. Coghlan has been useful, but he's very inconsistent. The offense is definitely going through a prolonged rough patch.