Sammy Sofa

I was immediately struck by the futility represented here. First of all--4 games is...not a lot of games. And 30 points is...not a lot of points. (Above average for a game, perhaps, but nothing earth shattering. And yet--55 seasons is a hell of a lot of games. So I decided to look at when some other teams last had a 4 game stretch of 30+ point games, to decide how embarrassing this fact is. Starting with the obvious Chiefs with their powerhouse offense,. Well, they did it in 2020. Naturally. Seattle did it in 2020 If we include playoffs, Tampa Bay had 7 games above 30 points in a row....in 2020 (3 regular season, 4 playoffs) Arizona had 5 30+ point games in a row...in 2020 Green Bay had 4 30+ games in a row TWICE in 2020 The Titans had a 4 game streak and a 5 game streak....in 2020 After this I was too drunk to continue. Something it took the Bears 55 years to do was done by (at least) 6 teams just last year. The futility is just staggering.

Wait what. https://bearswire.usatoday.com/2020/10/02/chicago-bears-told-patrick-mahomes-he-was-top-quarterback-choice-2017-nfl-draft-mitchell-trubisky/ If that's true, how the horsefeathers are any of you still Bears fans.

WOW:

Sneakily my favorite line:

Love it. Drew rules.

Well, alright then. *Throws away planned changes*

Can you let me know what my current lineup is? I'm gonna aim big and try to finish in the top 10.

How I picture everyone insisting that the Ricketts will spend big again:

Man, I'll bet the Ricketts sweatily rub their bumps every day looking at what the Brewers have been doing for the last almost 15 years. I guarantee you they want that kind of horsefeathers with a fanbase like the Cubs' SOOOOOOO horsefeathering bad.

Business cowards always, ALWAYS will prefer to take the long term steady but lower profit over the short term hit to make more money in the long run whenever possible. Yeah, spending on the team to increase attendance to Mr. Wants to vote for Santorum's Fantasmagorical Cubs Shmegorium makes more sense to you, but odds are they are perfectly happy with the steady lower profit than the up and down hits to their precious, precious quarterly reports from those pesky big contracts that those mean ol' greedy players want. Again, the Ricketts haven't been shy about showing us who they are.

Yeah, there's the other big thing why past spending doesn't mean horsefeathers for me; the owners knew what was coming. I think the Cubs managing to sneak out a WS win under the Ricketts in 2016 will end up arguably being one of the worst aspects of being stuck with them owning the team probably forever. They renovated the stadium, they got their godforsaken TV channel, and they're set up to have their horsefeathers ass Wrigleyville Theme Park Emporium in perpetuity. They've horsefeathering lied for years now about what money would be available and how it would come back to the team. IMO, it's not even a matter of trying to guess about what they're going to do: they've been horsefeathering telling us with those dopey smiles on their faces over and over and over again.

Yeah, great, they were willing to throw down huge cash to go all in once they lucked out getting Theo and Theo horsefeathering lucked out with his plans. And doing that resulted in the WS, EXTRA luckily...but why does it seem so crazy unrealistic that these assholes will just continue skating by on what little payroll they can while instead focusing on milking Cubs Inc. as an overall moneymaking venture? I think it's potentially HUGELY misguided to look at past spending as anything other than a big investment gamble to get this business organization set up as the perpetual moneymaker they want it to reliably be. These guys are traditional rich horsefeathering cowards; they're gonna take the safe bet 9 times out of 10, and we already got the outlier out of the way. And with the way things turned out, they got the outs they'd prefer with the way this team/core spiraled, and now they can settle in on spending as little as they can get away with on the payroll with the idea that so long as the team trips over a competitive season or two every few seasons. I mean, why is this so unrealistic? We see owner upon owner doing the same horsefeathering thing with teams far less popular. The idea that enough Cubs fans wouldn't stand for it is complete horse horsefeathers. It basically comes down to, "well, of course they'll spend a lot again!" When the reality is we see so many horsefeathering owners just...not doing it. Why the horsefeathers should we assume the Ricketts will come through when everything they've done for years now has been garbage?

Man, some people act like the Ricketts being a bunch of high pockets con artists who want to spend as little money on the actual team as possible is such a CRAZY idea, despite every America professional sport being horsefeathering LITTERED with these types of mooks.

Nope. When's the last time you heard of the Yankees, Red Sox, Braves, Brewers, Giants, Royals, Cleveland, St. Louis, etc successfully pitch (twice in a decade!) to their fanbase that actually losing is the path to winning? Even the Rays moved past that stuff in the 2000s. The Giants are still trying to win a WS this year with multiple players from their early 2010s championship teams! The Cubs are maybe the most uniquely placed franchise in the sport. They're a big market team with one of the larger international fanbases in the sport but were able to spend a century running to the bank promising next year. Now twice beyond that century have been able to at least set the mental clock of the fanbase to 5 years plus everybody kinda hates the players from the 2016 team now. It's obviously insane but also wildly successful seeing as the franchise is probably worth closer to 10x what it was bought for than not by now Well, horsefeathers. Look at this great post.

From wondering how the Cubs will possibly find room for all of those slam dunk MI prospects to this discussion. It's been quite the half decade.

I'm 99% sure the world would be a much, much better place. It's a very convincing argument that the Cubs opened the portal to hell but all the bad things were already afoot when Rizzo caught that ball. And hey, only 5 years later the Cubs have maybe the worst roster in all of MLB so maybe things can get better? :shrug It is insane how, IMO, everything went to complete and total horsefeathers within less than a week of them winning, and it's only managed to get progressively WORSE right until this very horsefeathering second. HOW.

Imagine if we had lost. I'm 99% sure the world would be a much, much better place.

horsefeathers him. I hope he never pitches well for the rest of his life.

They definitely had a stretch where they leaned into the heel thing, what with overt horsefeathers heads like AJ and Ozzie and Hawk and Buehrle. And that it was that group that won their WS, which came right smack during a series of WS wins that seemed expressly made to kick the Cubs and their fans in theirs junks, really made it easy for me to dislike them for several years. But I enjoyed the hell out of them in the 90's, and they're a really fun team now, especially with Hawk finally gone. The Brewers just seem like this annoying little kid that won't horsefeathering go away. It feels like this totally fake horsefeathering rivalry with a stupid AL team that somehow keeps falling ass-backwards into just enough success over and over again.

Woodruff/Burnes/Peralta/Williams are pretty great. But that doesn't come close to making up for the rest of the roster.

Tim, if you ever wanted to replace 'Easily the least terrible faction...' on the headline image. How dare you. The cynicism here is always targeted and focused with diamond-shredding precision.

And the first person that "well, ACTUALLY"'s that with stats is getting punched in the taint. I'm basing that on the three White Sox games I've watched this year and the Brewers being the horsefeathering Brewers.

The White Sox are made up of cool and good players and the Brewers are made up of fluke-y dicks.