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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    How can you tell that Zagnuts is healthy when he looks like he's dying in literally every single picture.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    Clearly you gave Maddon WAY too much credit.
  3. Sammy Sofa
    [expletive], this is good.
  4. Sammy Sofa
    If only there had been some kind of way to mitigate these sort of OF issues...
  5. Sammy Sofa
    Bro, we can't both already be doing maximum Our Things the first day.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    who the horsefeathers cares about spring? I can't believe how quickly we regressed back to people wanting to give a shot to big fat zilches again. WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, WEST SIDE ROOTER.
  7. Sammy Sofa
    That is definitely just a drifter who snuck in and stole a uniform to hide out so the railroad bulls don't nab him.
  8. Sammy Sofa
  9. Sammy Sofa
    Kris Bryant: "Hold my beer." "No, seriously; please hold it. I have the shoulders of an 80 year-old man."
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Knowing him, he'll do something ridiculous, like hit a really hideous triple, and then every horsefeathering meatball will look that ONE horsefeathering AB as the reason as to why he should be leading off when anyone else makes literally one out hitting from the top spot.
  11. Sammy Sofa
    Just for those keeping track, here's what Almora did against LHP last year: .295 .340 .402 .742 And they're who he is supposed to be BETTER against. FJMFJMFJMFJMFJMFJMFJM
  12. Sammy Sofa
  13. Sammy Sofa
    That should be a horsefeathering crime. Talk about an argument for MLB to have the banishment rule or whatever the horsefeathers soccer has.
  14. Sammy Sofa
    Though, let's face it, it's gonna have to be a permanent thing going forward because of...
  15. Sammy Sofa
    Remember last year when we thought the Cubs kicking off the season in warmer weather/domed/roofed stadiums was going to unleash early DONG HELL on the world?
  16. Sammy Sofa
  17. Sammy Sofa
    Pymptonite should definitely post more.
  18. Sammy Sofa
    HEY BRANDON. Swap the starter threads, please.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    Yeah, I'm not gonna gripe about anyone getting more money from these horsefeathering misers. Heyward may bum me out because I thought they were gonna get a dude busting out and instead he's just kind of a dude, but I love that the Ricketts have to shell out for every horsefeathering year like the dip shits they are, so he's basically a hero. Good for you, The Good Kyle.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    Sticky this thing and unstick the old one, please.
  21. Sammy Sofa
    To be fair, to have Jak on the same team as a Bryce totally checks out.
  22. Sammy Sofa
    "Mew mew mew, how can we POSSIBLY hope to pay these mean, greedy players all of the money, mew mew mew" https://deadspin.com/how-much-longer-will-baseball-stadiums-be-for-baseball-1833463105
  23. Sammy Sofa
    Man, talk about a perfect FJM moment: https://deadspin.com/sports-illustrated-publishes-anonymous-scouts-tantrum-o-1833609121 This is such a horsefeathering stupid juicy meatball on, like, 18 different levels. Hot damn. BRETT GARDNER?!? horsefeathering seriously? This is the dog whistle-est dog whistle that ever dog whistled.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    horsefeathers. Lapkus rules, and she should be getting ALL OF THE WORK, but it genuinely pains me to see that she was on this horsefeathering show. She's been done Judy Greer-ed.
  25. Sammy Sofa
    I don't think so, but not necessarily because I put a ton of faith in the fans. He objectively wasn't good last year, and he's never had the hustle/grit (read: he's not white) or even the high batting average that usually drives that kind of fandom. All of which to say, again, for the 47th time, why did we need to bring this guy back. horsefeathers. Lapkus rules, and she should be getting ALL OF THE WORK, but it genuinely pains me to see that she was on this horsefeathering show.
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