javy knows my name

@CovelliCrisp Manny just told me he played with some cereal guy back in Boston too. Omg aloof takes its Platonic form in Manny Ramirez He took lessons on people skills from Rickey Henderson. Manny being Rickey

Stop. Read that back to me.

@CovelliCrisp Manny just told me he played with some cereal guy back in Boston too. Omg aloof takes its Platonic form in Manny Ramirez

I want the Braves' problems.

Castro rape thread. Though, those are the dumbest among us. Which, in all likelihood, is where El Caballo stands among those at brewerfan.net

It's the one where he misses 1/3 of a season for breaking MLB rules.

Please make a comic in this vein, tree.

It's da bum all the way from the douchey chinstrap down to the leg warmer-looking socks.

BEATEN!

It sounds like he's trying to convince himself above all.

Is my sarcasm detector not working? It is on life support

If we pay 15 million for Zambrano to have a Cy Young-caliber season for Ozzie Guillen and Jeffrey Loria, I will jump out a window. It's a good thing that it is impossible for that to happen. You live in a window-less room? It in fact has many windows and I jump out of them often for no reason at all. It's much more likely I jump out a window than that Z is an elite pitcher this year

If we pay 15 million for Zambrano to have a Cy Young-caliber season for Ozzie Guillen and Jeffrey Loria, I will jump out a window. It's a good thing that it is impossible for that to happen.

Wow, page 5 is definitely the worst thing that's ever happened

You'll be back tearing up Cubby Bear come this summer. Even my postgame standards aren't that low anymore

God I just do not miss Wrigley at all

No one wants to answer these comp questions it seems. I think Justin Upton is a bad word or something. Am I missing something (I'll admit my sarcasm meter isn't as good as it once was) or did you miss something? This was already covered. Don't give MonsterFight the benefit of the doubt again, please

I'll bet he didn't say exactly this. Where is that from? Mid-Atlantic?

Yeah you are. I think I speak for all of us that this off season has been crap. Anyone disagree? So, bad at reading, then. Fair enough. Enlighten us. There are many people on here who are borderline ecstatic with this offseason. You have obviously spent no time reading about any of our additions to both the major league team and the farm, and presumably even less time evaluating the cost of some of the guys who "got away." There was unprecedented stupid money flying around all offseason, and our guys decided to invest in the future rather than take expensive risks. You can hate that we have resigned to not compete next year, but for the love of God, stop throwing around the pro-Hendry hyperbole [expletive]. It's so tired. Speaking of making hacky, obnoxious posts on a message board - maybe you should find a new hobby.

Yeah you are. I think I speak for all of us that this off season has been crap. Anyone disagree? So, bad at reading, then.

CC has had a KKvG-style mental breakdown. It's fascinating.

After 35 years in this country, Ozzie is basically still English-illiterate

Is it really that good? Certainly pricey. I almost went there for brunch last weekend. It's outstanding. Mojitos and Pork Shoulder are glorious. There's a place near the corner of Western and Charlestown in Bucktown that it is pretty damn good as well. 90 Miles is better

Signing Edwin Jackson or Roy Oswalt to a short-term (1 or 2 year) contract would be pointless given the Cubs' situation. It adds a few wins to a sub-.500 team. Who cares. The best you can hope for is to trade them later on. That may be one way to acquire prospects, but it surely must be the least efficient. Yeah, you completely missed the point. Had the Cubs front office wanted to, they would have been able to field an over - .500 ballclub while staying within the budget and without saddling the payroll with poor long term contracts. Is it the optimal way to acquire prospects? Absolutely not. But there would have been some semblance of competing during the process. And we'd still be able to make moves to leave us better off in the long run. I'm guessing the Cubs did make inquiries into guys like Oswalt and Jackson. It's pretty clear Oswalt doesn't want to play here (or anywhere in the Midwest), and Jackson turned down a 3 year deal with the Pirates (who are similar to us) to take a one year deal with someone else. Theo can't make these guys come here, and he shouldn't overpay for them so that they do want to come here. For once, we have a management team willing to show restraint, which is why I won't be upset if we lose out on Cespedes because the Marlins gave him $70 $80 million. Last year, we headed into spring training with a bad team that, if everything went right, could be above .500. This year, we head into spring training with a bad team that, if everything goes right, could be above .500. The difference is that we'll be relying on young-ish players taking a step forward, whereas last year we were relying on old guys repeating career years. I never understood the desire to overpay and give up assets this offseason for a better shot at 83 wins. That's basically been the Cubs' strategy for the past 20 years. This team would really need everything to go right to have a shot at .500. Gigantic rebounds by Dejesus, Soto, Dempster, and Marmol in addition to breakout years by Lahair, Stewart, and T.Wood might give them a shot at .500. What? No.

This guy is upset with Selig right now