Sometimes I feel like the pain is too much, and ask myself why I keep putting in the time year after year, watching every game I can, putting off other things and rearranging my schedule just to be there for first pitch, thinking that one of these days it will all pay off and the joy will erase the hurt, and if I'm ultimately just wasting my time and damaging my own psyche by putting myself in such a position of ultimate disappointment. I'll admit ... I've recently started asking myself if it's really worth it, or if I'm really doing myself more harm than good. Then, I think about my grandfather ... in his 80s, in poor health, in a nursing home, and how every year he still has hope. I can't allow myself to quit when I know he's still holding on. If someone who's been through that much can keep going, then so can I. If you're in your 20s, 30s, whatever, and feel like giving up, I can totally understand. Hell, you'll probably be doing yourself some good by taking a break or stepping away. But I just couldn't live with myself if I did. I'm not only a fan for myself and the team, but I'm a fan for my family, and I owe it to them to keep the hope going.