Clem Fandango

Let's just trade for all three of the Yankees relievers. That's a realistic plan right?

[tweet] [/tweet]

...It's Sam Travis

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-cubs-pitchers-are-making-their-own-luck/

Miss you, love you

Syndergaard with elbow discomfort.

Perhaps this series will be the impetus that makes Theo and Jed upgrade the bullpen properly?

If the Cubs were gonna get swept at home by any team this year, I really hoped it wouldn't have been the horsefeathering Cardinals.

It took me years before I figured out that Zangief had a pile driver attack. Only reason I found out was because he performed it on me when I was playing at a higher difficulty.

No offense to Addison, whom I love dearly, but #VoteSeager. Home field advantage might actually be useful to the Cubs this year, and I'd rather have the best shortstop in the national league up the middle, not the 7th.

Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! My precious winning streak!!!! [ArrestedDevelopmentCharlieBrown.gif]

Just copying info from the Google Schedule. I live in the south, I don't know what FSMW is. FSMW has been removed, just like the Cardinals hopes and dreams after this series.

I don't think this is coincidence. There's a reason they've picked out the guys they have. I'd be willing to bet they've developed some sort of algorithm that's helping them focus on starting pitchers with a very low injury probability and damned if it's not working pretty well so far. IIRC, when Theo & Co. first got here wasn't one of the things they said that was a market inefficiency that they were going to put lots of time, money, and research into was how to maintain healthy players and keep them off the DL as much as possible?

I forgot he existed

1) I wasn't in your good graces before? :( 2) I've got a few more games before I'm in Butters/Mojo territory. I'm currently 4-1 (not sure why the game thread starters thread says I'm 2-2, this is my 2nd turn around starting threads so I haven't lost my 2nd game yet). Butters and soccer10k each have 6 wins. Mojo has 7. 3) I'm just glad I have a winning record. 13 of the 16 members who have started game threads have .500 records or better. That alone speaks volumes as to how good the Cubs have been this season.

Did you hear the one about the team that swept a division rival? Goes a little something like this: Us. It was us who did that. For the second time this year. Now we face off against the Cardinals. We'll be sending this toothy grinned dude against them: http://i.imgur.com/shfx2zL.jpg Rumor has it that John Lackey crowns a new tooth every time he earns a win. John Lackey will be looking to earn his 8th tooth this season. He presently has a 9.3 K/9, the highest it's ever been in his career, probably because he's receiving the Cubs version of Cardinal pixie dust. It's called: Being good at baseball and playing on a good team that is better than everyone else. Lackey has a 2.3 fWAR, 9th best in the National League and 1.1 MORE than what this guy has: http://i.imgur.com/AZ1Alb8.jpg?1 Here is Jaime Garcia looking like he was just told he has to face the Cubs tomorrow and immediately nursing the migraine that immediately occurred in his brain because he knows he's not going to survive long enough to see the end of the game... because he's gonna get pulled after a deep donging by our guys. He's been remarkably average this season, and he's been good at limiting home runs, but we all saw what happened in Saturday's game. Rizzo and Bryant are having fun toying with the opposition in their own private home run derby. Oh, also, Willson Contreras did a thing that was pretty neat, I guess. If hitting a dong in your first MLB at bat is a pretty neat thing. I've enjoyed this winning streak, it would be a shame if it ended prematurely. Until then... http://i.imgur.com/jzSbSfG.gif?1

I'm writing this at 12:45PM on Saturday because I'm gonna be in New Orleans tonight and tomorrow, so I'm preemptively making this game thread and saving it as a draft for easy posting because let's be honest, Lester and the Cubs aren't gonna lose against Niese and the Pirates. If you're seeing this it's because I'm horsefeathering right. For this game we have The Professor, Kyle Hendricks... http://worldseriesdreaming.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/ProfessorKyle-500x318.jpg He's sneaky good, as we all know. He makes rival fans' heads explode. "He doesn't throw hard!", "Why doesn't anyone tee off on this guy?" I'll tell you why: Because your team is bad and you should feel bad, but more important, Kyle Hendricks is good, and we feel pretty good about that. He comes in with a 3.05 ERA and a 1.005 WHIP, good for a 1.6 fWAR, which is tied for 15th in the National League with other guys who are so obviously better than Kyle, like Max Scherzer, Jacob deGrom, and Gerrit Cole. Max Scherzer struck out 20 batters this year and has a couple no hitters to his credit, you know? He's provided the same amount of value as our 5th starter. Suck it, losers. Kyle will be going up against this guy... http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/592791.jpg Jameson Taillon, who totally looks like a kid until he takes his hat off and you realize he already has a receding hairline at 24... http://i.imgur.com/EWRad7W.jpg?1 Poor guy. Maybe he'll be able to get a Rogaine endorsement in a couple years if he pitches well. Luckily for him he's pretty good at throwing baseballs so this one might be a bit of a challenge for the Cubs (and that Rogaine endorsement is gonna be money for him). Taillon has two starts under his career and 1.93 ERA in those starts, but he's yet to carry over any of the strikeout potential he had in the minors as he's only got a 5.1 K/9 in those starts. He has a bright future, but unfortunately for him Sunday's game is gonna be cloudy with a chance of dongs. http://i.imgur.com/YcRz2ln.gif

Yup. It's Saturday though, so no one was gonna be watching Fox anyways.

No way. He's not having an ideal go of it right now so his trade value is as low as it's ever gonna be, but he's not been atrocious. And on top of that he's the cornerstone of that team and the face of the franchise, the fans would riot if they traded him probably. They should probably move him to LF and let Marte take over in CF though, but it's not like McCutchen is done. He's only 29 and is still under control at a very team friendly price through 2018. The problem with the Pirates isn't McCutchen, it's how much their pitching has collapsed this year which makes zero sense. This can be easily fixed by bringing up someone like Glasnow. A 1-2-3 of Cole, Taillon, and Glasnow would be tough to beat. As of right now Cole has a sub 3.00 ERA and everyone else not names Taillon has an ERA over 4.50. That's abysmal. they already put Taillon in place, bringing up Glasnow to remove another one of those awful starters is the next phase, but I think they're playing the arbitration game with him, which is stupid as they continue to sink into the standings. Offense for them is fine. Marte and polanco are putting up all-star caliber seasons, McCutchen will likely bounce back, they're getting good performances out of guys like Freese, Jaso, Harrison, Kang, Joyce, and others. Their pitching is in shambles. Fix the pitching and they fix their problems.

If only

Told you I wouldn't have a losing record after the Arrieta game. Arrieta threw lots of pitches and only made it through 6, but gave up no runs and struck out 11 feeble Pirate batters. Time to move on to our other ace, Mr. Jonathan Tyler Lester. Here he is preparing for his game on the recent off day http://i.imgur.com/nYzHj1M.jpg Lester carries with him a Jake-ian 1.89 ERA, a 213 ERA+, and a delightful 2.5 fWAR, good for 9th best among pitchers in the majors as of this typing, and 7th best in the National League ahead of other such greats like John Lackey, Jason Hammel, and Kyle Hendricks. He'll be going up against this guy... http://i.imgur.com/nfzUh1A.jpg?1 Jonathan Niese, who may or may not be a terrible Ryan Dempster impersonator. At the very least he's doing a solid job of imitating 2013 Ryan Dempster, as he enters the game with a 4.60 ERA. He's also a league leader in wild pitches, doesn't strike guys out (6.4 K/9), and has a FIP of 5.21 so you know... he's worse than his numbers indicate. Let's keep the ball moving. Preferably out of the park on multiple dongs. Much obliged to Matt Sczcur for hitting a dong in Friday's game. Thanks, Matt!

That's better

Sammy Sosa has been called many things: MVP, hero, villain, cheater, vampire, upon to be in a senate hearing on steroids. A parrot? Can't recall that one.

There's only one man with the power and skill to hit the Wintrust sign, and that is Samuel P. Sosa.

I wasn't really trying to make any sort of statement, just a fun little "Hey look at this guy now" kinda thing.