I love that the Cubs are the proverbial prettiest girl at the ball, but don't tease me like this. They are more like the sluttiest girl at prom. The new guy is guaranteed to get laid that night, but if things aren't handled the right way, things can get crazy in a hurry, and he may wind up regretting that prom night the rest of his life. So you're saying the Cubs have herpes? Next thing you know you get her knocked up, and out comes a baby Alfonso Soriano and all of the sudden, your once promising life is derailed.