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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    It's slightly goofy that the last article on the front page is from August and there's no mention of how the horsefeathering Cubs won the horsefeathering World horsefeathering Series.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    Maybe those weirdos who are sick of Ross are mixing him up with ol' Jake here.
  3. Sammy Sofa
  4. Sammy Sofa
    Otani looks flat out bored in that clip. Dude does, however, need to work on his bat flip-game.
  5. Sammy Sofa
    Whut.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    He and Molina are in sync via their neck tats.
  7. Sammy Sofa
    Ah, that's because you can just delete old memory folders like it's nothing. I still love that team.
  8. Sammy Sofa
    Never. I've discovered that the only thing worse than fat me in shorts is thin me in shorts. A world where men are showing off their disgusting man-legs while eating disgusting hot ham sandwiches is not a world we deserve.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    Ah, that cold starting temperature reminds me that I was there for the 2008 Home Opener, too; got to see Kerry's debut as the closer (which sucked) and the debut of Fukudome (which ruled), who briefly fulfilled all of the lofty Ichiro meets Matsui hyperbole by going 3-3 with a walk and a game-tying dong in the 9th. It was as cold as you expect a March 21st game in Chicago to be, but it was horsefeathering damp and rainy and grey all day, so it was the kind of wet cold that just cuts to the bone. We all signed up for multiple junk mail accounts with the Bank of America reps around the park just to get the free blankets they were giving out.
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Plus he'll still mix in just enough monster dongs and crazy slides to make his minimal offensive contribution totally bearable. Worst case scenario: he gets another shitty tattoo after a particularly bad slump and we all get distracted until he dongs.
  11. Sammy Sofa
    I didn't realize we had just been using the spring training thread for WBC talk. It's probably the final one, so let's send it out with its own thread, dammit. Here's that Baez clip one more time: [tweet] [/tweet]
  12. Sammy Sofa
    That is boss as horsefeathers.
  13. Sammy Sofa
    Go stick that thing up your butt, which is where a hot ham and cheese sounds like it comes from in the first place. Getting excited over a hot ham sandwich you can pay for sounds like something people did in the Depression.
  14. Sammy Sofa
    Man, horsefeathers that nonsense, talking like a Wendy's and a Waffle House aren't good enough.
  15. Sammy Sofa
    Well, now he's history's greatest monster.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    One of the times I've seen the Cubs play the Nats in DC, my brother and I were sitting right above the LF corner and just mercilessly made fun of Ryan Church all night. We were basically the only people in the section, so it wasn't subtle at all. We were having a blast...until our mom yelled at us to "leave that nice Church man alone." THANKS A LOT, MOM; NOW RYAN CHURCH HAS THE UPPER HAND.
  17. Sammy Sofa
    Love the flip; hate the smug tweet.
  18. Sammy Sofa
    I was there when they clinched the division at home in 2008. Man, that was a fun celebration; felt like we hung out in the ballpark with the players all over the field forever. I wasn't nervous at all going to the playoffs; the team seemed totally loose and how quickly they got rolled still doesn't make any sense.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    I thought that was some random FO staffer or something. What a forgettable jamoke.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    Who the horsefeathers horsefeathers is this Brett Elredge goober and what does he have to do with the Cubs?
  21. Sammy Sofa
  22. Sammy Sofa
    That is a beautiful horsefeathering dong.
  23. Sammy Sofa
    Damn, that one dude was rocking some interesting underwear.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    This thread went from a snooze to legendary like THAT.
  25. Sammy Sofa
    I don't know where you get your delusions, raisin brain.
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