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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    Show us on the grill where the bad cheese touched you...
  2. Sammy Sofa
    They sell that horsefeathers in grocery stores. When I first moved there, I wondered, "What is that wad of oily, extruded-looking horsefeathers in the dairy section?" Provel, man. horsefeathering provel. http://atmedia.imgix.net/bdcf82d60ebd7a6fa0f3f067fa6e9a95a892ec2b?w=800&fit=max The really sick horsefeathering part is that they have it made in Wisconsin and shipped in. WISCONSIN. Land of delicious cheeses. All of the cheese options available from that wonderland and they come up with PROVEL?!? I'm going to go back to the Mars Cheese Castle and rend my garments and gnash my teeth in anguish.
  3. Sammy Sofa
    It would be pretty good with a type of cheese other than provel. I thought they only used that horsefeathers on pizza, and I only mostly hated them. Now... honestly, the whole city needs wiped off the face of the Earth. I honestly hadn't heard of provel before...but the wikipedia entry is great... It's a crime against humanity. It looks like a block of butter gone bad, and when cooked it has the consistency of melted wax paper with a sweet, rubbery taste that kind of tastes vaguely of something dairy-ish. God help whatever you cooked it on to, because a single bite is pulling EVERYTHING in or on the cheese off.
  4. Sammy Sofa
    Honestly, that sounds pretty good. That's the twisted point; every example of "St. Louis cuisine" is just them taking something good and horsefeathering it up and then declaring it to be food. How does someone screw up meat, cheese and bread? Well, take a good hard look. Or how about the inexplicably named St. Paul sandwich?
  5. Sammy Sofa
    Pass the time with one of St. Louis' own Gerber sandwiches:
  6. Sammy Sofa
  7. Sammy Sofa
    The idea of Corey Patterson's player development in the hands of this FO makes me feel all tingly.
  8. Sammy Sofa
    Man, Black Twitter doesn't horsefeathers around.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    Toasted ravioli is the dumbest horsefeathers. Congratulations, St. Louis: you figured out how to make pizza rolls, except in a far more inconvenient and time-consuming way.
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Like, he's bordering on Ed Sheeran-levels of terrible tattoo-dom.
  11. Sammy Sofa
    Agreed, but his tattoos have ruined the canvas.
  12. Sammy Sofa
    according to mojo actually they're all hideous iirc kris bryant's flaw is that he looks like a 12 year old girl's idea of a disney prince or something Indeed; he crosses over from good-looking to some kind of uncanny valley simulacrum. He is also accurately described as the type of dude straight dudes think it's "safe" to say is hot, which should always throw up a bajillion red flags. Baez, IMO, would be the easy champion of handsomeness if not for the inescapable tattoo massacre. Tattoos themselves are not a automatically a deal-breaker, but his are just horrendous.
  13. Sammy Sofa
    I can't imagine why... http://kitchenencounters.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a8551282970b017c31c68833970b-800wi
  14. Sammy Sofa
    So handsome.
  15. Sammy Sofa
    Patterson, Corey.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:
  17. Sammy Sofa
  18. Sammy Sofa
    This is outstanding.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    Disappointed that that didn't turn out to be "how many dongs you got?" like I thought.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    I thought I heard Montero was getting the start.
  21. Sammy Sofa
    Because it was the first game of the season. Were you expecting a running commentary about him after every game?
  22. Sammy Sofa
    I think I must have the bladder of an infant; once I've got at least 3 beers in me, it feels like I'm having to take a leak almost every inning.
  23. Sammy Sofa
    Well, you did wait one whole game before coming to this conclusion. Can't really argue with that.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    This thread title is still a crime against humanity.
  25. Sammy Sofa
    it's surprisingly doable and once i smell it, i can't not get it Eh, it's Chicago; I can just get one pretty much anywhere else.
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