Sammy Sofa
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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa
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Man, given the horrendous lineup constructions available to this team right now, it's kind of amazing they're in the position they're in. In any given game, they basically have 4 hitters, and then 5 schlubs who are technically holding bats. -
Fun fact: Turtle Wax was founded in Chicago, and this used to be their awesome offices:
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If Lester gets out of this, I'll buy him a lifetime supply of head wax.
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Like one of the best OF’ers in MLB fixed? Absolutely not. But he’s making better contact so far this year it seems like, he might be like 110-115 wRC+ fixed. He's shaping up to basically be the same dude as last year at best, unfortunately.
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Man, I was being generous when I said Heyward was "cooling off:" Last 7 days: .120 .214 .320 .534 Last 2 weeks: .186 .239 .372 .611 Last 4 weeks: .213 .323 .350 .673 The OF is 100% butt!
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Baller inning, Lester. Nice.
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Petition to have Descalso and Almora battle to the death* over who is more useless. *I feel safe saying "to the death," since both suck so much they'd likely fail at that, too.
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I have completely given up on Schwarber. I think he needs to get fat again. I just try to not think about how a rapidly cooling off Heyward is the only thing keeping the Cubs' OF from being an out and out disaster for the foreseeable future.
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Uh-oh. It's almost like the Cubs have a shitty OF that could have used some offseason attention or something...
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Lester not taking any chances relying on these stumblebums behind him.
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Granted, I'm lazily going by fWAR, but any improvement Descalso offers seems negligible since he costs more money and is older. Like, why bother replacing essentially the same guy? Like, if we did into the intangibles of La Stella being a guy already at home with the team and everyone seems to like him, this still just feels like making a move for the sake of making a move since they were so limited to make actual changes to the roster. Descalso can actually play competent defense at 2B and 3B and some emergency OF/SS. He only makes like $1 million more per year, plus Descalso was a guy they brought in for his veteran/clubhouseness. Idk, I hated seal boy. Especially if we’re talking about guys who are gonna be starting 3-5 times a week, give me Descalso all day. Again, I'm just lazily scanning Fangraphs, and Descalso's defensive value is wretched...so, I dunno. It just seems like a unnecessary move.
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Oh my god; Chacin wants to be donged SO bad. Please oblige him.
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But why did they need a newer, older, more expensive of La Stella when they already had a younger, better, cheaper La Stella? He’s better than LaStella, unless this PED infused version of LaStella is the new normal Granted, I'm lazily going by fWAR, but any improvement Descalso offers seems negligible since he costs more money and is older. Like, why bother replacing essentially the same guy? Like, if we did into the intangibles of La Stella being a guy already at home with the team and everyone seems to like him, this still just feels like making a move for the sake of making a move since they were so limited to make actual changes to the roster.
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Thanks for the TOOTBLAN, dorks.
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It's even better if you picture him taking it off all sexily. Well that’s creepy. The hell it is.
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He’s fine in the LaStella role, he still might be hurt too. His role shouldn’t be this big, but with Zobrist dealing with whatever he’s dealing with, Russell and then refusing to bring Happ up he has an annoyingly large role for what he is. But why did they need a newer, older, more expensive of La Stella when they already had a younger, better, cheaper La Stella?
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What the hell was the point of signing Descalso? He literally serves no purpose besides thankfully keeping Russell off the field.
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It's even better if you picture him taking it off all sexily.
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And still managed to get through 2 innings in less than 20 pitches. Suck it, Brewers.
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How dare they make Lester throw more pitches with their paltry singles.
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Please unleash hell now, Cobs. Let's have a laugher.
