Okay, so lets talk about the Chicago Fire. Here's a list of actually useful players on that roster: Mike Magee Sean Johnson Austin Berry Dilly Duka Alex That's it. That's five players out of like twenty-four. That's awful. Patrick Nyarko blows. I've seen him play enough to know that he's not really any good. He's good for like one nice move per game off the dribble, but then he tries the same said move ten more times. Gonzalo Segares and Logan Pause blow. Whatever fat forward of the week they decide to play sucks. Jeff Larentowicz is an affront to man and nature. It's bad enough that this team had the misfortune to build a stadium at the worst possible time and end up with a nice enough facility at the ass end of Harlem Ave, meaning you basically have to drive through Mordor to get there, but they're boring as hell to watch, and it sucks having your hometown MLS team be as exciting as watching paint sit in paint cans.