Hairyducked Idiot

With Mack’s lower production and contract, I think you’d be lucky to get a third for him. Plus the accelerated dead cap hit would destroy you. I still think we can out-tank the lions but it would take some luck. That was a 50/50 game with two bad teams

Oh god what if Trubisky actually does keep his job all year and plays as a below average but legit starter and we have to extend him. I’m scared

Right now I hate that we are going to win this game and be on our way to saving Pace’s job with another 8-8 season. But if they actually do win and are 2-0 I’ll probably jump on the hype train just because it’s fun

“Bad at developing pitching do you don’t have depth or youth” and “unlucky with pitching injuries” often look similar

football seriously though, I didn't hear about the no hitter until after the Bears game was ovep and I have most of my app notifications turned off (besides messaging) to prevent phone addiction. Same. I thought it was a joke. Someone needs to come to the football thread to let us know next time

Lol 3-page game thread for no hitter

Mitch and a Lions drop bail out bad defense. I love it

Hahahhahahaaaaa

Pace has had five or six years, and with our cap and pick situation, we know it’s not getting better soon. I don’t see why we have to wait for the 12-8-7-4 down slide to play out formally before we fire him

Garbage time stat padding. Doing just enough to give people an excuse to pretend everything isn’t bad. Perfect metaphor for entire Pace era

TOP is basically even right now, and the Bears gave up TDs on both sides of halftime (when they're plenty well rested). The offense sucks, but the defense can't blame them today. thr last thing I saw was the defense stop the lions in 2 minute offense then bears use 5 seconds to give it right back. That’s the game, and that’s all on offense. You can’t expect a defense to make back to back two minute stops. I can, in fact, expect them to do that

I was a little worried this defense might have one last stretch in them but thankfully they got old even faster than I expected

Holy crap that can’t be a real stat but it is

I don’t think Trubisky has been Henry Burris levels of bad. He just looks like a bottom-third starter in the NFL. The rest of the offense is also bad. I’m pretty sure Robinson is the only above-average player anywhere in that side on the ball. You’ve got a bad Lions defense that was already banged up and got a guy ejected. The entire Bears offense is healthy. This is the best it’s going to look all year and we have 6 points at the half.

The good news: the running game looks better The bad news: running games don’t matter

How much must Foles suck if he can’t beat this guy out

It was awhile ago now but I’m pretty sure that bootleg that got blown up was the line blocking the wrong direction, which was a big problem last year too

Nagy outsmarting himself with third down calls and Mack destroying a single team. Everything is back to normal

I would have lost a lot of money on “baseball player or blaseball player” for Ildemaro Vargas

I assume he meant to tag Urlacher and forgot

Are they allowing partial fans? I only got a quick glimpse but there seemed to be more people in the stadium than I expected. Edit: TV answered as soon as I asked. I am a wizard.

There's usually a really clear line in the sand where they go from "threat to put up huge sacks every year" to "still pretty good but not elite." And they usually cross that line somewhere between age 27 and 31. If the Bears are going to do anything this year, they need Mack to be an unstoppable force, not just the guy we talk about how it's not his fault he got stopped because Hicks is hurt and there's nobody to soak up the double team. But mostly I'm just doom bonering.

Quinn is still not practicing, seems unlikely he will play Sunday. My doom boner is already raging majestically. I want this team to crash and burn completely, get everyone fired, start the rebuild. The entire season rests on getting healthy, dominant seasons out of the key defensive players. We already lost Goldman. They can't afford to have any dropoff from Quinn (30), Trevathan (30), Hicks (30), Mack (29) or Fuller (28), and we all know that all NFL players except QBs wither away and die after their 27th birthday. The depth that helped a ton last year just isn't there anymore. Somehow Pace managed to look at the crapfest that was the offense and do nothing except play the tight-end carousel yet again and bring in a QB who couldn't beat out our crappy incumbent. The offense has exactly one good but not elite player (Robinson), a couple of average players and a bunch of bad players. WRs are below average as a group, OL is below average as a group, both QBs are below-average starters. I can buy the argument that Montgomery is a secretly average back whose surrounding talent made his stats look awful, but he's not better than average. Cohen on his best days is a flex/tweener RB3 not a true second RB in a league where you need two real RBs, and his best days look behind him already. The offseason was a monument to why you don't let guys have "save your job" years. Trading picks and committing big guaranteed money to 30-year-old defensive players. The cap situation still sucks next year now too.

the 1930s throwbacks are being worn at home in week 14 I hate it

Either they are playing 9 road games or they’re stupidly wearing white at home for one