i got it all wrong, wade and bosh are the good guys and lebron is hollywood. he's going to come out and introduce his new partners, wade and bosh and then announce they're all gonna play in miami and be managed by a mystery superstar agent, wearing a mask. while they're all parading around the stage hands clasped and held high the agent will secretly remove his mask to reveal that it's wes, who will then throw powder into the faces of the chumps, noah will jump up on stage and start beating them with a chair, lebron drops a couple of legs, yada yada yada, queue up the sirius and the pelting of the half-filled beers and other garbage and it's everyone's worst nightmare except chicago's.