LOL, guys. but in actuality, he will spontaneously combust on the mound. meanwhile 1,000 miles away in queens: al leiter simultaneously combusts after screaming "I die a happy man knowing that josh beckett and his nasty stuff live on!" miguel cabrera, while watching josh beckett writhe in unspeakable misery before dying, will be reminded of what he truly is, dust in the wind, he will blow away after a mighty swing by mike lowell, which breaks lowell's back, btw, blows him away ijnto the muggy florida night. in detroit, pudge will have dropped dead, after an eating contest between him and dimitri young, results in the cannibalizing of uggy urbina. after losing, dimitri will say: "hey, no fair! he's not breathing, don't people normally breathe?" in chicago, ozzie guillen will die of grief when he learns of jack mckeon's botched rectal rebuilding.