Carlos Zambrano's performance during the course of the season will cause the entire world to stop what its doing and watch the Cubs whenever he pitches. His fastball will be so masterful that it will bring tears to the eyes of the most hardened villains. His slider will cause bountiful crops of food to spring forth from the most desolate areas of the Sahara. His fist pumps will cause the most polluted waterways to suddenly revert to a sheen of blue so pure that people will be unable to tell where the water ends and the sky begins. ...that and he'll win his first Cy Young by leading the NL in wins, Ks, and ERA. :D