Cubbie Swagger

I read this out loud like an old timey hobo with a busted-lid tophat was saying it. Is that something you do regularly?

Yay. One other person agrees with me.

Thanks for the input, dude, but I'm not that guy. I've never been kicked out of anything in my life. I've never had a DUI. I would be willing to bet that I drink less frequently than most people on this forum. I just tend to be a little bit snobby when it comes to what I put in my body, that's all. I'm not saying you're the kind of guy who gets kicked out of bars. I'm saying you're the kind of guy who, when he's drunk, thinks he's not acting drunk and slurring his words when he really is. So you're basically like almost every other drunk person. You say that's not true, yet you also say you can taste the difference between Belvedere vodka and Barton vodka after your 18th drink, so forgive me if I'm skeptical. Your skepticism is understandable. I'm pretty abnormal. You'd have to see me to believe me.

I'm not sure we are using the word "impaired" in the same way. They both get you equally drunk. Alcohol is alcohol in that sense. What I'm saying is that cheap booze gives me more of the negative effects of drinking. When I drink the good stuff, it's like I get more of the positive effects and less of the negatives. It's an overall more enjoyable buzz.

We will have to agree to disagree, my friend. I'm telling you, if I were to go buy a can of Steel Reserve right now, I would be slurring my words before I finish the can. Give me top shelf booze, and it will take much more before I start slurring. It's night and day for me.

Thanks for the input, dude, but I'm not that guy. I've never been kicked out of anything in my life. I've never had a DUI. I would be willing to bet that I drink less frequently than most people on this forum. I just tend to be a little bit snobby when it comes to what I put in my body, that's all. Honestly with everything you've said I'm surprised. "I got this guys, I'm only a 0.08 Titos, not a 0.08 Skol." Lmao. Seriously, that's funny.

Pretty much. I think it is a little bit of both, personally. Different types of alcohol do have different effects, but people are quick to make excuses for their behavior, and the type of alcohol they happened to be drinking is an easy escape goat. Someone has a bad night where they make a fool of them self, and they say it's because they drank tequila. I have a friend who only drinks whiskey, but says that he absolutely cannot drink Irish whiskey. He says even one shot of Jameson will make him feel all fucked up, like his body just won't accept it. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like the taste, and the rest is psychosomatic.

This is not rocket science. Your body processes alcohol at a rate of about 1 drink per hour on average. When you are drinking beer that is only 4-5% alcohol, this means that you aren't going to get very drunk unless you are slamming beers really fast. You can drink 8 beers over an 8 hour period and just maintain that same low-level buzz. And, I mean, is it really that hard to believe that a person can tell the difference between top shelf alcohol and cheap domestic beer? I'm not making any extraordinary claims here. I never said I don't get drunk off of top shelf liquor. What I'm saying is that when you drink higher quality alcohol, the euphoria to impairment ratio is much more favorable. By euphoria, I pretty much mean "being drunk". When you drink higher quality alcohol, you get just as drunk, except you are not as impaired. You don't slur your words as much, and you aren't as confused. Sorry if you guys think I'm being uppity. I was a bouncer for like five years. Your post sounds like the ramblings of every guy I had to kick out who was drunk AF but convinced he either wasn't or that there was no way I could tell he was because he was acting "perfectly fine." Thanks for the input, dude, but I'm not that guy. I've never been kicked out of anything in my life. I've never had a DUI. I would be willing to bet that I drink less frequently than most people on this forum. I just tend to be a little bit snobby when it comes to what I put in my body, that's all.

I'm telling you with certainty that I could I could tell the difference on my 1st, 3rd, or 18th drink. While I'm eating an italian beef. I will admit that I could only do this when comparing top shelf to bottom shelf, though. I'm not going to claim that I can tell the difference between Belvidere and Grey Goose with 100% accuracy. This is a graph plotting vodka ratings (again, blind tests by an array of professional tasters) against the corresponding prices: http://i531.photobucket.com/albums/dd358/Cloudstrife219/vodka_quality_b_zpsw2ly0uuy.png That's zero correlation. There is, as you say, a "spectrum of quality", but it has no positive correlation with cost whatsoever. $10, $60, doesn't matter. There is loose correlation. The cheap vodkas on that chart that were rated highly are not available at most stores, at least in this part of the country. When I walk into a grocery store, there is nothing I can buy for $10 or $13 or whatever that compares to top shelf. Most places are going to have the real cheap nasty stuff like Skol for $7-$8, then some mid level stuff like Smirnoff in the $10-15 range, then you're gonna have Goose, Belvedere, etc. I wouldn't call that zero correlation. The fact that some small distillery in Idaho or someplace sells a really good vodka for $13 has no effect on my life. But, like I said before, my favorite vodka is not the most expensive, so I totally get you on that note.

I have actually been considering the possibility that I might be allergic to hops. I have a feeling that dietary sensitivities play a role in how certain booze affects people individually.

I am known for having extremely sharp senses. I've actually wondered if I might be a "supertaster" or whatever. If you think I'm snobby when it comes to booze, don't even get me started on food.

In general, clear liquor gives you a more energetic buzz, whereas dark liquor gives you a more mellow buzz. Not sure why.

You could put me in a double-blind test with top shelf vodka and Skol, and I would be able to tell them apart 100% of the time. I will bet you ANY amount of money. They have literally done this exact double blind test many times and shown that for the majority of people, this simply isn't true. And for the ones who can tell a slight difference, it is only on the first drink, if taken neat, when their taste buds are sharpest, and if they're comparing a top shelf to the absolute lowest of the low quality. After one vodka, or if the vodka is mixed with anything at all, or if it's served cold, or if you're comparing to more middling brands...the results are the same as it would be with random guessing. I've drunk about 9 million gallons of vodka in my life, and I would absolutely agree. Get yourself a $15 bottle of vodka. It's just as good and you'll save a lot of money. I'm telling you with certainty that I could I could tell the difference on my 1st, 3rd, or 18th drink. While I'm eating an italian beef. I will admit that I could only do this when comparing top shelf to bottom shelf, though. I'm not going to claim that I can tell the difference between Belvidere and Grey Goose with 100% accuracy.

Did any of you ever see the episode of Penn & Teller "[expletive]!" where they were serving water to people at a restaurant? They brought out all these fancy bottles and claimed that these different waters were from France or Switzerland or wherever. Then, at the end, they reveal that all of the bottles of water were filled with water from the hose in the alley behind the restaurant.

You could put me in a double-blind test with top shelf vodka and Skol, and I would be able to tell them apart 100% of the time. I will bet you ANY amount of money. I'm not saying you can't tell the difference, I'm saying it's [expletive] vodka. http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1026/9277/files/clear-alcohol.gif?3616049427134374997 Lmao. I got you. It all tastes like nail polish remover, no matter how good it is.

Can too. Yeah, it depends on the $8 bottle. Some vodka is better than others, but there is almost zero correlation with cost. Sometimes the quality is commensurate with the cost, but just as often it isn't at all. All of this is just to say that going into a store and choosing a bottle of booze under the assumption that "the more it costs the better it will be" is a very poor methodology. Unless you are choosing a specific brand based on rating, you might as well grab a bottle at random. Selecting top shelf because it's top shelf might make one feel like a refined fancy pants, but that's about it. I never said that I choose my alcohol based on price. I'm merely saying that there is a spectrum of quality when it comes to booze.

some of it tastes better but vodka is [expletive] vodka You could put me in a double-blind test with top shelf vodka and Skol, and I would be able to tell them apart 100% of the time. I will bet you ANY amount of money.

So are you folks at least in agreement with me that top shelf tastes better and gives you less severe hangovers? Seems like the "quality of the buzz" issue is the only thing we are hung up on.

Because it changes the non-alcohol components of the whiskey. What a moronic question I suppose it was a bit of silly question, since you were specifically talking about alcohol as a chemical.

If alcohol is alcohol, then what is the point of aging whiskey? Is a $200 bottle the same as Jack Daniels?

Again, C2H6O. Alcohol is alcohol. Again, you are wrong.

As someone else stated before, different types of alcohol give you different buzzes. Alcohol is not alcohol.

This is blatantly untrue.

I will be the first to tell you that there is not always a direct correlation between price and quality. There is plenty of [expletive] marketing and placebo effect involved. For example, I used to drink Grey Goose. Then I realized that Tito's was much better, and only a fraction of the price. So, now I drink Tito's. But, you can't sit here and tell me that you feel exactly the same if you drink Grey Goose or if you drink an $8 bottle. I certainly don't.

You are out of your mind. The fact that most average Joe's on the street can't tell the difference isn't science.