Little Slide Rooter

If she weighs the same as a duck, then she is made of wood.

When you're as good as we are, sometimes you let the Junior Guerra's and Chase Anderson's of the world have their day, because it means more to them than it does to us, and dammit, it's the right thing to do.

The Cubs are in early season slump mode. NSBB is in August 2004 meltdown mode. But yeah, not clobbering the Brewers with replacement level at best pitchers in 2/3 games, no Braun in 2/3, and no Braun or Lucroy in this one shouldn't happen. Maybe Garet Cole caused some deep emotional bruising with his hateful not the best team in baseball comment. Jerk.

Eloy's been pretty absurd in the month of May: .381/.400/.603. Could he be in Myrtle Beach before long?

Is it wrong to think that the mini slump of the Cubs offense (other than the 2 Pirates wins) go hand in hand with the return to earth of Dexter Fowler (.231/.333/.308 in the past 7 games?) I'm not saying Dexter's to blame, but when your lead off man reaches base virtually every AB, you're bound to score some runs. And while I was hoping for a 2005 D-Lee explosion out of him, his .282/.403/.400 May slash line is a more realistic expectation than his April insanity. And that's great, especially with Heyward showing signs of life. What's my point? I don't know. Just general Cubs chit-chat, I guess.

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Last night was an experience. Let's make the most of the twilight of pre-June Hammel and unload 4 days worth (counting the off day) of runs on this Juventud Guerrera fellow. And seeing as Braun was never even considered as an option last night, I have to assume that he won't be today either. So there's that.

I feel more anguish than joy. Boy, did I pick a bad night to not take up smoking.

Richard's one bad pitch away from Brian Schlitter level hate.

If nothing else, nobody can accuse Chris Carter of not being large.

Ok, here's where Lucroy needs to be walked, as Carter's either going to K or knock the ball into orbit.

Either I'm just really tired, or Scooter looks kind of like the pedophile from Sin City.

Probably cried himself to sleep after the previous half inning.

If we lose, I might break down and cry.

"Base Hit Ben" Zobrist. It has a nice ring to it.

horsefeathers you camera angle and sound effects.

Now go out and score umpteen runs.

Just lay one down the middle. A ball and a granny are one in the same here.

Most. Intense. May. Inning. Ever.

http://forums.rotoworld.com/index.php?showtopic=75504&page=2 Make that twice.

Wasn't Jeffress busted for PEDs at one point?

Runs, please.

Hey Heyward: Remember that thing you did last night when the baseball went from your bat all the way past the outfield and into the stands? Maybe do that again.

For no particular reason, here's a short list of teams that could be ready to back up the truck in the next few weeks and what they could move. Not necessarily guys that would be fits for us, just guys that could be on the move. Brewers: Jonathan Lucroy: Had no idea he was a free agent after this season. The way Miggy's looking, this could end up our main target. Would end up a very expensive rental. Aaron Hill: After a brutal start, he's quietly put together some strong numbers. Not going to fool anybody into thinking he's not 34 and injury prone, but comes with no commitment. Could see him packaged with Braun, but he's also your prototypical waiver trade guy. And of course, Ryan Braun. He's going to cost somebody, probably an AL team quite a bit in terms of cash and/or prospects. Even if we were willing and able to take him on, warts and all, there's no way they'd send him to us. It's one thing to trade to a division rival when your season was effectively over last season, but Braun's been the poster boy for the Brewers, if not Milwaukee, and sending him to us, or the Cardinals for that matter, would cause an absolute PR nightmare; possibly one that would catalyze the Portland Brewers. Reds: Brandon Phillips: Could have sworn he was traded in the offseason. He's due in 14mm 2017, but at 34, there's no reason to believe that he'll suddenly stop being good at baseball. If we didn't have Zobrist, he'd be a target, but we do. Jay Bruce: 13mm team option for 2017. I know his defense sucks, but we were prepared to begin the season with Schwarber and Coghlan out there. Joey Votto: Haven't heard any talk of him being traded, but everything about him and his contract scream out Yankees. Braves Nick Markakis: Not sure why he forgot how to hit home runs. 11mm for each of '17-'18 isn't that bad, it's not money we need to spend. Jason Grilli: No thanks. But remember when he was the offseason target that got away. Bud Norris: For some reason, Major League Baseball teams repeatedly employ Bud Norris. I think it has something to do with the name Bud. If they ever catch on to the fact that it's not his given name, that'll be the end of him.

Noticed that too. It was in the 8th. It would be chalked up as a strategic move if it were Vogelbach or Contreras, but not Almora.