badnews

Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth apparently. Joey Gathright isn't a great defender. It might be stretching it to even call him a good defender. This is like back when people thought Scott Podsednik was a good defensive outfielder because he stole a lot of bases. This guy is supposed to be the fastest man in baseball, looking at his stolen base numbers, he's got to be an incompetent baserunner. Actually, what is the upside here? How often is the 25th guy on a roster a guy with zero bat, okay defense, who can run? I think that Dave Roberts steal has clouded people's judgement. Name me one team where the 25th guy on the roster is some piece of crap pinch runner who can't do anything else.

Oh please. At least Adam Dunn is a legitimately good hitter. Milton Bradley's going to shape up our outfield defense? That's a joke. He won't while he's out there, and last I checked, guys who spend at least 60 games on the DL don't play great defense during those 60 games. Dunn's defense is not enough to undo the fact that Bradley isn't a good defender either, that Bradley won't even play a full season, that Bradley isn't the lefty threat we need, that Bradley isn't even that good of a hitter. I'd rather have Adam Dunn scorching righthanded pitching rather than Bradley probably putting up some .790 OPS against it in his grand total of 90 games he plays. You're talking about how a DH's defense is going to be this big asset over Adam Dunn's. How often does Adam Dunn play 150+ games? Almost always. How often does Milton Bradley. LIKE NEVER. Sorry, the suckiest player in baseball is better than the player who never gets off the bench. You know what? Bring on the crappiest OF defense in baseball, it's better than sitting here pretending that Milton Bradley is the answer to any question besides "Who shouldn't we get this offseason?"

First of all, I haven't followed this offseason 100% closely, so can someone just tell me why we'd put Dunn in right field when Soriano would be better suited to right field? Second, why are we so convinced Milton Bradley in the field is a huge asset? Third, someone pointed out Bradley crushed righthanded pitching in 2008, I was talking about career numbers, career numbers, Bradley is another beats up lefties, eh against righties guy. Fourth, I don't understand why people are so accepting of Bradley's numbers. It's like Jeromy Burnitz's 2004. He struck out 79 times in 285 ABs on the road and still hit .312. And he hit .341 at home. That's not going to fly. I am stunned people can't see past his past 550 ABs. Can I repeat it again - he slugged nearly 700 at home and below 500 on the road. TROUBLE A BREWIN. He didn't just have a high BABIP, HE LEAD THE MAJORS IN BABIP. This is the guy who's going to end the 100+ year curse? Milton Bradley? He's going to be our big RBI guy? Nobody thinks this is wishcasting at all? Do you guys think Xavier Nady is a perennial .867 OPS guy too? Or Dmitri Young with his .869 OPS in 2007? And I haven't even touched on the fact that he's always injured and that he's an emotional basketcase with a persecution complex who's not going to survive in Chicago. Adam Dunn would do fine in Chicago. Adam Dunn doesn't give two ****s what people say about him. I'm just curious, when Gary Matthews Jr. posted that 121 OPS+ with the Rangers, did you buy into that too? Okay, I saw someone try to justify his ABNORMALLY high BABIP with LD%. Alright guys, Mephistopheles tried that same trick last year with Chone Figgins. IT DON'T WORK. Chone Figgins .825 OPS last year, .685 OPS this year, LD% be damned. I know it's crazy, but Chone Figgins's BABIP dropped like 70 points this year. Which is what anyone with common sense could've told you, regardless of his LD%. In conclusion, I can't believe this topic is peppered with so many "Please, just get this deal done Jim" pleas for MILTON BRADLEY.

I was just thinking about how, after 2005, I thought the Cleveland Indians were incredible. They were young, they seemed to have everything going for them, with more prospects on the way (back then you may recall Adam Miller was pencilled in as an ace-type starter for the near future), and then 2006 came by and they disappointed. Could this happen to the Rays? I for one don't think they'll win the division again.

Move Soriano over to right, I don't give a crap. Move Soriano to 2nd and DeRosa to right. Hell, it doesn't matter. David Ortiz playing shortstop plays better defense than a guy on the 60 day DL.

Adam Dunn's career OPS+ is 130, Teixeira's is 134. Teixeira is going to make at least 8/160, what's the ceiling on Dunn's contract? 5/80? He's not going to make as much as Carlos Lee did because teams were attracted to Carlos Lee's HR + contact ability. He doesn't strike out much for a power hitter. A lot of teams are turned off by Dunn's reputation as the worst defensive outfielder in baseball (proven to be false) and by his strikeouts (who cares). So if you can get Adam Dunn for half the total contract price of Mark Teixeira, guess what you do it. Oh yes, Dunn can actually beat up righthanded pitching as opposed to Bradley, who does the same old song and dance as most Cub hitters - mash lefties, not so good against righties.

I entered this topic expecting to find people disgusted, instead I've discovered everyone having a circle jerk over Bradley. Seriously, has no one learned their lesson about signing free agents to a multiyear contract when they've just put up their career highs in batting average, walks, RBIs, HRs, OPS, etc.? These numbers are about as real as Soriano taking 67 walks and hitting 46 home runs in 2006. You will never see those numbers again. Milton Bradley will never take 80 walks again. He may never play 80 games again. He will never hit .321 again. His career OPS against righthanded pitching is .801, Adam Dunn's career OPS against righthanded pitching is 9freaking31. Hey how about this, if you're worried about where to play Adam Dunn, just rest him until the playoffs, all we need him for is the playoffs, just like Bradley, right?

I like we're all going to sit here with our fingers in our ears and ignore his .388 BABIP or the fact that he can't stay healthy and use the worst logic possible. "We don't need him for the regular season, just the playoffs." Well hell, let's rest everybody for the regular season and just wait until the playoffs to start playing. That'll work out well. "If we don't sign Bradley who are we supposed to get?" Oh, this is brilliant reasoning. Right up there with the "If we don't sign Fukudome, we'll have to get Geoff Jenkins or Jose Guillen" stuff. How about this: I'd rather have NO CONTRACT than a BAD CONTRACT. If we had said that last year we wouldn't be stuck with Suckodome. That's what people said about Jacque Jones. "If we don't sign Jacque Jones we'll be stuck with Juan Encarnacion!" Can't we just man up and say if nobody fits then nobody fits instead of handing out 4 year contracts out of utter desperation? I'd rather have Adam Dunn than Milton Bradley. Who was it who said Milton Bradley stole 5 bases in 2008 so he must be feeling well? What the hell does that have to do with anything? Adam Dunn has a pretty good stolen base record. Adam Dunn's season high in steals is higher than Milton Bradley's! Baseball Prospectus has already shown how Ibanez is a much worse defender than Adam Dunn, yet people continue out with this schtick. Sorry, 90 games of Milton Bradley at an .820ish OPS is not going to cut it. Maybe next time we can actually be enthusiastic about a player worth a damn. And if all this sounds harsh just remember this - you're getting excited over Milton Freaking Bradley, somebody with some sense needs to be harsh about the realities of that.

I'm sorry, enthusiasm for Milton Bradley is an utter joke and just shows how low disappointment can drag standards down. Here is why Bradley is a bad fit: #1- He is not "Dennis Rodman crazy." He does not at Dennis Rodman's talent level commensurate to his own sport. The Dennis Rodman comparison is desperate people grasping at straws. Milton Bradley is an emotional basketcase who will be less successful at handling Cubs fans than Jacque Jones was. I'd give him a week before he starts crying about everyone is mean to him and no one understands him. #2- For all the talk of needing a lefty bat, once again, Bradley is a switch-hitter who, for his career, mashes lefties significantly better than righties. #3- His 2008 numbers are preposterously unconvincing. He slugged nearly .700 at Texas and under .500 away from Texas. Let's see, also, is he going to have a .388 BABIP again in 2009? Highly doubtful. Who had the highest BABIP of qualified players in 2008? Milton Bradley. #4- He can't stay healthy playing a position, and even as a DH he only played in 126 games in 2008. #5- This "healthy for the playoffs" idea is as dumb as it was last year. Enough already. #6- 4 years, $40 million and what's Bradley going to do? Play 85 games and post an .820 OPS? Oh hell yeah, that'll put the Cubs over the top. Bradley would be an awful move.

Cabrera's stuff is so good you just want to throw money at him, he could be one of those rare guys who posts a 2.00 G/F ratio and a 9 K/9. Of course he sucks. BUT THAT STUFF MAN THAT DAMN STUFF

It seems like the worse Pie hits, the better his defense gets on this board.

Olson's not that much of a stiff. Age appropriate starting lefthanded pitchers who have nearly as many strikeouts as innings pitched in the minors are always going to draw interest.

Thank you for the defense of that Jim Tracy. Sorry, that was a nice game and all, the first couple of people are right. Calling that game a "classic" is an utter joke.

I didn't say that but I'm also saying - Cliff Lee and Oliver Perez.

Hill has no value - seriously, I'll say this a couple more times maybe, isn't that what the Indians said about Cliff Lee last year? Everyone is so down on Hill, why can't he be Cliff Lee or Oliver Perez or something? Anyone remember Oliver Perez 2005-2006?

To figure that out, find out how many other guys have done it in the same time period. Not A-Rod because of 2004. 2007 disqualifies Manny Ramirez and Lance Berkman. So who else had a .900+ OPS every year from 2004 to 2007? Holliday is out, Thome's 2005 kicks him out, David Wright had an .857 OPS in 2004... Let's see, there's Albert Pujols. And? Who else had a .900+ OPS and a qualifying number of ABs every year from 2004 to 2007? Yeah, that's pretty impressive to me.

I'd grab & rehab Hampton for the league minimum. Little risk, possible reward. What possible reward though? Are people hoping he'll become the 1999 Mike Hampton, 10 years ago? He's gonna be 36 next year, and he hasn't had an above average year since 2003, and that year wasn't anything terribly special. His WHIP is horrendous, his ERA capability is 5th starter/long reliever at best, and he hasn't played a full season since 2004, which was cut short due to injury. Why on earth would anyone want this guy? Career 4.01 ERA and 1.43 WHIP and chronic injury problems? 4.85ERA in his comeback 1/2 a year? Yeah. Let's get that. Let's get a a frail version of Jason Marquis. I want that on my favorite team. No I don't. If we're gonna toss league minimum money at a reclamation project who hasn't pitched hardly at all in 3 years and is injury prone, I'd rather throw it at Mark Prior. At least we know that if we get a good return on him it will actually be worthy of at least a middle rotation spot, that and he'll be 10 years younger than Hampton. Hampton is a joke. I'd rather take a flyer on Hidalgo. Blech to Mike Hampton I feel even more strongly against this than you do. Hampton's not even a frail version of Jason Marquis, he pitches like a left-handed Steve Trachsel and has the durability of Darren Dreifort. Seriously, if you pick up Mike Hampton, you have to stop to pick up every single piece of trash on the street. Why not sign Mo Vaughn to the league minimum, why not sign Robb Nen to the league minimum, why not sign Sean Burroughs to the league minimum, why not sign Kirk Rueter to the league minimum, Mike Hampton was never even as good as people remember him being. Can we possibly figure out a way to get Kevin Brown while we're at it? Can we take a flyer on Mike Sweeney and Bernie Williams. Hey, remember in 2002 when Elmer Dessens had a 3.03 ERA, let's take a flyer on him. Or Wade Miller. Good 'ol Wade Miller. Or Rodrigo Lopez. Or Jeff Weaver. I've got it - Ismael Valdez. I can't believe anyone thought anything good about Mike Hampton whatsoever. You know who we need? Roger Cedeno. Look at how good he was in 1999. Anyone here anything about this new movie Fight Club, I hear it's supposed to be pretty good.

Valverde has great enough stuff and a deceptive enough delivery he should be a Top 5 closer easily, but he never will be. He's a buffoon. I think they let him out of the same mental hospital as Vicente Padilla. He has got the most ridiculous choreography on a baseball mound I've ever seen, I think. What does he do after he gets a save? He like draws a cross with his hand in mid-air or some BS. I've seen less elaborate posturing from pro wrestlers.

Mike Hampton is on my speed dial, right next to Morgan Ensberg, Richard Hidalgo, Brian Lawrence, Odalis Perez, Jason Johnson, Erubiel Durazo, and Lew Ford. Why don't we call Billy Koch while we're at it.

The Cubs' lovefest with Justin Berg is obnoxious. He sucks. One of the better equivalents to Berg is Scott Munter. Munter was a groundball machine. He also had a suck K/BB ratio and gave up a ton of hits. What's Berg's absolute upside? The crappier version of Jamey Wright? Ugh. I think Veal can stay on a major league roster. Look at Wesley Wright this past season.

This topic turned out well, I was reading it and I thought "Oh my God, a Raul Ibanez and Milton Bradley lovefest, make it stop." Then some people did. Ibanez will be 37 next season and he plays outfield defense like Matt Stairs and Daryl Ward. Milton Bradley just isn't very good. He never stays healthy, apparently even playing as a DH. His home/away splits look SOMEWHAT SUSPICIOUS. His BABIP in 2008 was .388.

On the corner of the internet I was on in 2000, the complaint generator was right up there with All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Something Awful, Homestar Runner (Strong Bad), Acts of Gord, etc.

You guys must be too young to remember, this website was like the "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" of 2000: http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

It seems that before I launch into this letter, I should tell you that according to Kosuke Fukudome's logic, it would be beneficial for noxious scum to make people suspicious of those who speak the truth. Let us note first of all that there may be nothing we can do to prevent Fukudome from making good on his word to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem". When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his hired goons, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities. Take, as an example, the way that Fukudome wants to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. Well, he has a knack for convincing iconoclastic, dirty nymphomaniacs that you and I are inferior to paltry caitiffs. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "historiographical" and "thymolsulphonephthalein" to keep his sales pitch from sounding myopic. That's why you really have to look hard to see that Fukudome wants to treat people's bona fide personal devastation as bathos. Who does he think he is? I mean, he contends that he is omnipotent. What planet is he from? The planet Sadistic? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but inasmuch as I disagree with Fukudome's accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet Fukudome's speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines. By framing the question in this way we see that most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. Fukudome reminds me of the thief who cries "Stop, thief!" to distract attention from his thievery. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to appeal not to the contented and satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that he says he's going to use paid informants and provocateurs to abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular by the end of the decade. Is he out of his quixotic mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that we can no longer afford to do nothing about his unstable refrains. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and empower the oppressed to control their own lives. Accordingly, Fukudome avers that society is screaming for his canards. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Kosuke Fukudome are like oil and water. Doesn't he ever get tired of calling everyone a barbaric tightwad? We should give him a taste of his own medicine, yet perverted yokels are burdened with the preconceived ideas or feeble understanding of the circles to which they previously belonged both politically and philosophically. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most invidious troglodytes. Instead of friends, Fukudome has victims and worshippers who end up as victims. I clearly feel sorry for the lot of them. I also feel that the ultimate aim of Fukudome's manifestos is to restructure society as a pyramid with Fukudome at the top, Fukudome's representatives directly underneath, blasphemous so-called experts beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Fukudome to smear and defame me, which makes me realize that some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that he has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. Fukudome's mottos can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that many people are shocked when I tell them that you shouldn't let yourself be flummoxed by Fukudome's fast talk and air of self-confidence. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that Fukudome's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday. Kosuke Fukudome's conniving publicity stunts rightly deserve to be exposed to criticism. And that's the honest truth. ------------------------- I can't believe no one has recognized this yet.

It's been one of my favorite websites since 1998! Please pardon the disorderly overtones that will be found throughout this letter, but maladroit careerism has long been the nucleus of Ryan Theriot's campaigns of malice and malignity. Before I say anything else, let me remind Theriot that he truly believes that the Earth is flat. It is just such postmodernist megalomania, impolitic egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Theriot to let rash misogynists run rampant through the streets. Although the moral absolutist position is well represented by social and political activists and unquestionably influences legislators and policy makers, if his attempts to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide have spurred us to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny, then Theriot may have accomplished a useful thing. The last time Theriot reached into his bag of dirty tricks, he pulled out a scheme to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. How does he deal with this fascinating piece of information? He absolutely ignores it. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to rise to the challenge of thwarting his presumptuous plans. He likes to use paid informants and provocateurs to increase subservience to his monolithic engine of jingoism. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Theriot and his surrogates will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must focus on what unites rather than divides us. If I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less unrestrained than Theriot. We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his barbaric perceptions. For starters, let's say that "vandalism" is "that which makes Theriot yearn to leave behind a wake of offensive reaction." The concepts underlying his unsympathetic shenanigans are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Theriot's idea that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by mindless scatterbrains for the purpose of population reduction is wrong. We must spread the word about Theriot's flagitious press releases to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers -- if we are ever to brush away the cobwebs of fascism. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must unmistakably pursue because Theriot's toadies have been running around recently trying to create a world without history, without philosophy, without science, without reason -- a world without beauty of any kind, without art, without literature, without culture. Meanwhile, Theriot has been preparing to infantilize and corrupt the general public. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, Theriot's method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "Theriot-ism". It is a laughable and avowedly wayward philosophy that aims to hoodoo us. Furthermore, the materialistic clods who collaborate with Theriot should be spat upon -- or worse -- for their lack of integrity. Still, I recommend you check out some of Theriot's homilies and draw your own conclusions on the matter. I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that he is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to inspire a recrudescence of sleazy fatuity. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but he has written more than his fair share of lengthy, over-worded, pseudo-intellectual tripe. In all such instances Theriot conveniently overlooks the fact that it is an actuarial certainty that he will boss others around one day. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: What I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that Theriot talks a lot about adversarialism and how wonderful it is. However, he's never actually defined what it means. How can he argue for something he's never defined? This can be answered most easily by stating that any effort to negotiate with him or appease him is akin to spitting into a hurricane to quiet its fury. In view of that, it is not surprising that we must show him that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show Theriot that we can point out that the emperor has no clothes on. Maybe then Theriot will realize that his claim that you and I are objects for him to use then casually throw away and forget like old newsprint that's performed its duty catching bird droppings is factually unsupported and politically motivated. Theriot demands that we make a choice. Either we let him usher in the beginning of a snippy new era of clericalism or he'll accelerate our descent into the cesspool of recidivism. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that if there's one thing that Theriot's good at, it's spreading the germs of hatred, of discord and jealously, of dissolution and decomposition. It's undoubtedly a tragedy that his goal in life is apparently to steal the fruits of other people's labor. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then Theriot is clearly going to be the first to go. The bad-tempered negativism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of cheeky, obtuse cozeners, nor of the flippant ne'er-do-wells who cause riots in the streets. It is the fault of Ryan Theriot. I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to chastise Theriot for not doing any research before spouting off. I imagine that he wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to tip the scales in his favor. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, wherever you look, you'll see Theriot enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see him suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see him crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity. Why is Theriot really so inimical? Is it because jackbooted pseudo-intellectuals, almost by definition, promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group? Or because irrationalism has impaired his ability to think straight? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that I want to make him pay for his crimes against humanity. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because if it turns out that there's no way to prevent him from putting bilious thoughts in our children's minds then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate and accept the fact that he attracts caustic crybabies to his terrorist organization by telling them that the Universe belongs to him by right. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, Theriot holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who smear and defame me. I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights. It's also why I say that if you're like most people you just shrug your shoulders whenever you hear about his latest unctuous memoirs. When your shoulders get tired of shrugging I hope you'll realize that Theriot gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, he ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that I can't make heads or tails of Theriot's magic-bullet explanations. I mean, does he want to resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family or doesn't he? Theriot is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own ignominious ends. Why does he do that? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, "Theriot" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone attack the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview, I tell him or her to stop "Theriot-ing". A final note: Telling the truth is too much trouble for foul-mouthed individuals bent on getting their way.