Sammy Sofa

Or:

I read it as that's how Rizzo also reacts when he tortures the clubhouse attendants for his sadistic jollies. Probably makes them dress the same, too.

He's seemed so excited whenever I've called him back! Pat, if you're out there; we can hang.

Updated the thread info to reflect the new game deets.

I'm gonna wait to start the new game thread until tomorrow.

I think he just wants a friend.

Mine came yesterday so yours should arrive very soon. I just ordered the prints, going to do my one framing. I'm cheap. Pat left me two more messages to tell me mine had shipped and then just thank me for my patience. What a classy guy.

It's a, what, 90 minute flight?

Why? They don't play until 7:10 tomorrow.

Wait, this hasn't been called yet?

This dude LOVES dongs, in that he LOVES giving them up as much as he loves stretching out shirt collars.

Holy horsefeathers, "MAX FRIED?!?" What an amazing name. Dude belong in the Food Monstrosities thread by default. Max also has a gigantic neck, too. Is this the new market inefficiency? http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Max+Fried+Atlanta+Braves+Photo+Day+HCbvU_RMMy0l.jpg

http://wiki.starwarsminute.com/images/archive/b/bb/20161210035215%21Yarael_Poof.gif

Preview of the Cubs pleading when NECKBOY is pulled early because of the dongening:

Man, I just feel bad for the dude. That's bleak as hell.

***5/18 UPDATE UPDATE*** The Barves game got rained out and will be made up on August 30th. The Cubs are now on to Cincinnati, and Lester will now be facing Homer Bailey, who is still hilariously somehow a thing. Homer is president of the Yes Homers Club this season; this dude is REALLY bad. Like, nightmarishly bad. No excuse for the Cubs to not clobber his dong into oblivion with their dongs.**** ***UPDATE*** After this was posted, the awesomely named MAX FRIED was named the Braves starter after Long Neck Dong was put on the DL with some kind of non-neck-related strain ***** How the hell have the game threads already cycled back to me on MAY horsefeathering 17TH?!? Yikes. Well, I don't want to go with another gif theme, since the Cubs are just slaying classic TV shows left and right. So, hey, do what you feel, people. The Cubs are relying on Lester tonight, who seems to be holding together his ancient body through willpower and rubberbands to somehow be (maybe?) the most reliable starting pitcher the Cubs have right now (don'tlookatthatFIPdon'tlookathttaFIPdon'tlookatthatFIP), which is more than a little terrifying since he's on the same staff as Quintana and Darvish. And also since he's, like, 58. And looks like a gigantic angry baby. The Braves are going with Frank Sobotka; I mean Nick Sobotka; I mean Ziggy Zobotka; I MEAN...Mike Soroka. The internet tells me that this Soroka fella has been a reasonably well-regarded prospect for a couple years, so that's worrisome. The internet also tells me he looks like this: http://www.milb.com/images/647336/t432/180x270/647336.jpg http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/647336.jpg http://www.capitolaveclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/19083156623_601a62cbbd_k_4j87sdp3_urvp7r89.jpg [expletive], LOOK AT THAT horsefeathering NECK. The Braves are sending Nessie out there. MLB allows a horsefeathering LAKE MONSTER to take the mound, yet gets all fascist on Zobrist's cleats and Willson's Venezuelan pride sleeve? THIS IS SOME NONSENSE. Protest this outrage with some RD-crunching (Coomer-style) dongs, Cubs.

Different player groups. Try again. horsefeathers. Make it Haniger, please.

I ordered the one for my dad on the 30th, too, but didn't hear anything until the call this past Sunday night. It really does sound like Pat is running the whole thing out of his home, so presumably it's held up by the Cubs' schedule and when they're in town.

This just isn't a great comeback. Because, really, both fan bases would take our last three years over their last three years and both would take our year this year so far, too. I mean yeah, I would for sure. But let's not act like the Dodgers are going away. They'll be contending for the next decade for sure.

SEASON'S BACK ON.

Yessssssssssss.