Onion article about sport rivalries

[indifferent]

Pilfered this from another board, pretty funny. Maybe you'll reexamine your take on Edmonds?

 

http://www.czabe.com/backup/2002_week8/myteam_yourteam.htm

[wekse]

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

 

heh

[Garwilly]

Pilfered this from another board, pretty funny. Maybe you'll reexamine your take on Edmonds?

 

http://www.czabe.com/backup/2002_week8/myteam_yourteam.htm

 

 

He's still gay.

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding, you and the writer are correct, rivalries and sports are dumb.

 

 

 

 

Just kidding again, seriously.

[1wizard]

This a very funny article and does put things into to perspective for a few minutes. Then again with the Cubs/Cards series coming up I thought I would recap what the finer points of the rivarly.

 

Cub fans write:

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

 

***Insert Jim Edmonds makeup joke here***

 

Cardinal fans write:

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear.

 

Cubby Blue is not an intimidating color choice for sure and is a little feminine.

 

 

Chicago newspaper journalist (if you can call him that) writes:

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play.

 

Busch stadium is terrible and every time Cardinal fans come to Wrigley they know what they are missing. (I assume he is talking about the falling debris from the staduim's upper decks)

 

 

Cardinal fan writes:

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk.

 

We all know the Cardinal fans are the most intelligent fan base in all of baseball. (even if it is only a self proclaimed title) :lol:

 

Cubs fan writes:

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk.

 

Cardinal fans are inbreed hicks that bring cowbells to ball games.

 

Cubs fan writes:

In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines.

 

I do have to say that the female's at Wrigley are very fine, but then again it is a bar and I am usually drunk and the lighting is not the greatest.

 

Cardinal fan writes:

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories.

 

Ahhh, 1908 (insensitive Cardinal fan remark)

 

TruffleShuffle remarks:

In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

 

Carpenter, Nunez, So, and all the Cardinal players are playing far above their career norms.

 

Cardinal fans write:

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

 

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

 

One last thought: Our first basemen is better than your first basemen. (The new favorite argument of Cardinal fans everywhere)