1 - They finish the season with all of their key skill players healthy. Some positions are deep enough to withstand injuries that are part and parcel of any NFL season, and guys are going to get dinged up and need occasional games off, but injuries are also the easiest way to derail what could be an otherwise successful season.
2 - Record above .500, with the team either in a playoff spot or vying for a playoff spot in the last two weeks of the season.
3 - No QB controversies. I don't want the sort of season where people openly clamor for Tyson Bagent as the starter, and their opinions are taken seriously because Caleb is struggling badly.
4 - Top 15 offense, Top 10 defense.
Reasonable things!