Aaron_Kennelly

lol at us getting this Cole Hamels for nothing.

Imagine that, Jay Bruce looking like a Gold Glover at first against us now after looking like Clemente in the outfield against us for so long.

Also, if Joe is saying the lineup is going to be crazy then he's probably got Brandon Kintzler playing second or something.

Joe turning in his lineup card tonight:

It's going to be hilarious the day Duker finally tells everyone he's Jed. Spanking it to all these dongs lately.

♪ I want my dongs back, dongs back, dongs back, I want my dongs back, dongs back, dongs back ♪

Can I get an L23 VRD update?

Lol

It’s a shame Tommy is going to be playing in AAA next year, because I’d be willing to start a gofundme to get him to put “Seal Boy” on his jersey for Player’s Weekend.

Theo horsefeathering killed it with the mid-season moves. From now on, just tell him we have no money or prospects so every move has to be a desperation move. He works best when he has to dig deep.

I really don’t know what the plan is with the 4th starter. I’m assuming Monty is dead until proven otherwise. I’m certain that Q is hurt and pitching through it. I think he could end up on the DL at any moment. He’s a good pitcher and he’s pitched horribly. For the first time in his career, his command is lost. His velocity is down. He’s complained about shoulder soreness. He dies late in games. He has to be hurt. It makes too much sense. He can’t be relied to pitch in the playoffs if we could add literally any random veteran pitcher.

Go get another starter. Q needs to take the rest of the year off.

That bigot can hit.

He's the John Cazale of dongs. Kris Bryant is the Christopher Reeve of third basemen.

Up from 0.72 entering the night. Also a personal-high in hits allowed in a game as a Cub and tied his personal-high in walks allowed. He's starting to fit in.

#wearegood

New market inefficiency: trade for starters only with a 5+ FIP.

I never again want to see Caratini start a game in which the Cubs haven't clinched. Get me an actual horsefeathering catcher.

DONG

I really don't understand why we haven't traded for another starter. What if Monty doesn't get better? Maybe no one better than Alec Mills has cleared waivers. But I thought they should have added another starter for depth at the deadline, who, if nothing more, could be a long man in the bullpen in case of injury.

This trade is very disappointing to me. The Cubs continue to acquire players with shitty character while preaching how much character means to them. I really can't bring myself to accept this trade. Aroldis Chapman has much worse character, but that seemed like a one-time thing to help us finally win a World Series. Or so I told myself to rationalize the move. Completely disregarding homophobia to acquire an old piece of horsefeathers with a broken-down body says a lot though. It's impossible to act like there aren't a bunch of shitty people across the league. We'll always have to look past the actions and views of those we watch for entertainment. But the Cubs didn't have to trade for a known piece of horsefeathers. This sucks.

Honestly, I'm still not worried at all. It's been incredibly frustrating, but moreso that we haven't taken advantage and run away with the division. The rest of the NL sucks and we still have a little buffer with our lead. We are more talented than the Brewers and the Cardinals. The Cardinals are the bigger worry at this point, but they also have a much tougher schedule. It's stupid that it's even gotten to this point. But I still believe in the players on the roster. The offense has stagnated, but they've done this same horsefeathers before. They just need to kick it into gear before it's too late. The pitching has at least turned a corner with the addition of Hamels. If the bats get going, we'll be able to pile up some wins. I really feel like we need to add another starter -- whether it's Shields or Harvey or Clayton Richard or whoever. But if we are assured of Tyler Chatwood not starting games, I still think we are heavy favorites to win the division. Frustrating and ugly. But we're also fortunate that we're still in a good spot.

Guess who has the best record in the NL?

This means a lot coming from the guy who had a complete meltdown in the 2016 playoffs... in the NLCS... in Game 2.

People have wondered since April of last year, time and again, if this was the end of the Cubs' run. Here the Cubs are: defending NL Central champions, best record in the NL, 3.5 game divisional lead in hand. If it was wrong all those other times, it's probably wrong now, too. If there were a time to freak out over the last two years, this isn't it. There have been much worse moments than this: being down 5.5 at the break last year, being 4.5 down at the end of May this year, being swept in a 4-game series by the Reds, and so on. By my count, the Cubs have spent 18 days over the last 2 years with a larger division lead than this one. There are fewer than 40 games left for someone to catch us. The two teams chasing us down are even more flawed than we are. No one knows for sure when this run will be over, but my advice to enjoy it all while it's still going on. That's not to say that you shouldn't be mad at the bad things. This weekend was miserable. Be mad at the organization deciding to start Tyler Chatwood for some godforsaken reason. Be mad at them continuing to run Addison Russell out there when he can't hit the ball out of the infield. Be mad that our offense has disappeared at a horrible time. Be mad that Joe continues to manage games drunk. But, in the macro, you have to enjoy the whole ride. Losses are supposed to hurt more when you are good. You should care when players are injured. There's nothing worse than when you reach the point when you don't care if they lose a game. We'll get to that point eventually. This is how playoff races are supposed to go, though. You hang on anxiously at each moment. The wounds of playoff exits never heal. But we'll be playing in October again this year. We'll be popping bottles in a few weeks. Enjoy it all. Granted, some things have gone very poorly recently, but in the last half decade a lot more has gone right. We still have Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant. We have Javy Baez in his prime. We have a lot more, too. And we might be adding Bryce Harper to it soon. There will be more fun times ahead. Enjoy them, too. I know some people think I'm just a pollyanna, or trolling, or whatever. I promise I am not. If we were the Nationals, I can assure you I would have long since lost it. We haven't had many bad things happen to us. Yu Darvish missing a season isn't that bad. Splitting a series on the road against a .500 team isn't either. We've been quite fortunate. We still have a lot of talent, smart people in the front office, and a lot of resources to help us get better. We'll be fine.