Aaron Kennelly

Take this chump deep, Javy.

That's just ridiculous.

I love him.

Holy horsefeathers, Javy!

Jeez, I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize it was that bad.

horsefeathers you, you scoundrel.

No-hitter Game Thread is two pages long. We are officially too good.

Let's have an RD Game.

That's amazing. Well done, Hawk.

And why would they feel the need to measure guys position-by-position? So the difference between Dexter Fowler and Ian Desmond -- which is literally the smallest difference possible, since WAR only goes to tenths -- counts the same as the difference between Rizzo and Moreland? It's really a stupid thing to do. It proves nothing. Why are we worried about measuring Rizzo against Moreland? Are they going to arm wrestle in the fifth inning? This makes a little more sense in basketball, where those guys have to guard each other. You can look at lineups and see if there are any mismatches. This is just the dumbest idea ever, though. And that's without getting into the horrible defender with a sub-.300 OBP being better than Ben Zobrist.

Does he not catch it with a glove, like everyone else? Maybe he uses a tuba? Or a cowboy boot?

We had 1 inning pitched by a guy who will definitely be on the playoff roster, and he was a rookie going for his first career save. We started our nominal sixth starter, as we are giving an achy veteran some time off. They started their $90 million free agent addition. When it came time to go to the pen, they went through their usual litany of bullpen arms. They made multiple relief changes in the same inning, hoping to set up their usual 8-9 finish. We threw out some rookie who has been here for a couple weeks and let him go two innings. And then we let some guy who just showed up today go for another two innings. This coming after that one game we won while resting two of our five best regulars. Oh and we let our $200 million man rest for a whole weekend. We are coasting like you wouldn't believe, and we are still steamrolling teams and widening our lead.

I'm so afraid to face this team that can't even get a hit off of Joe Smith.

It's going to be nice having a second MVP on the team, after Addi wins it next year.

Heyward's coming through here.

Here is the list of all major league baseball position players since 1900 that have had a 9-win season before turning 25, according to Fangraphs: Lou Gehrig Ted Williams Mickey Mantle Jimmie Foxx Ty Cobb Tris Speaker Mike Trout Willie Mays Eddie Collins Stan Musial Rogers Hornsby Cal Ripken Arky Vaughan Albert Pujols Bryce Harper Alex Rodriguez Mike Schmidt Babe Ruth Shoeless Joe Jackson Johnny Bench Joe DiMaggio Save for Shoeless Joe, all of the non-active players are in the Hall of Fame. And not only that, they are among the most hallowed names in the Hall of Fame. Bryant is on pace to be worth 9.6 wins. In the last 50 years, only Trout and Ripken have had such seasons before turning 25.

That was amazing.

holy horsefeathers!

#wearegood

This is true. And it's probably due to all the bullpen suckage earlier in the year and now because of injuries, but I feel like Joe used Wood a lot better last year. I'm not going to bother to go check. But, I feel like he used him more as a LOOGY/long guy. Those are the two appealing things about him as a pitcher. He's tough on lefties and he's a former starter with a rubber arm. It's a weird thing to be, and I think Joe pushed all the right buttons with him by exploiting his ability to be both. This year, it seems like he's been used more as a one inning reliever (or at least he's used him with that intent until he got in trouble and got pulled). His usage reflects that he's just another guy in the pen -- not this weird guy with a special ability to be a LOOGY and a long guy. I don't think Joe has gotten the most of Wood, since he hasn't let him do what he does best. Wood's also been much worse than last year, so he probably wouldn't have been good in any role this year.

Depending on what roles we want and need guys to fill, I can see a case for Wood making the playoff roster. I hate Wood just as much as the next guy. But, hear me out. Wood has been really tough on lefties this year. The periphs (BB, K, etc.) don't look good against lefties. But, he's been really tough to hit. And he has been great against them historically, too. I would be fine with him being used as a LOOGY in the playoffs, if he is used strictly as a LOOGY. None of this [expletive] you are doing with him now, Joe. One guy and one guy only. And only when necessary. If it's the seventh inning and L/R/L are due up, put in Strop. Don't you dare go to Wood in that situation. He should only be used in a situation like this: 5th inning, starter is having a rough go of it, and is in a jam. Lefty batter that struggles against lefties is coming to bat. If Strop and Rondon are healthy and the 7-8-9 Bullpen of Doom is intact, that drops Edwards and Grimm back as guys to fill in whenever necessary. That makes Cahill a little redundant. And Montgomery doesn't really have huge platoon splits. So having a LOOGY makes some sense, as long as he is just a LOOGY. Fair enough I just don't see being properly used that way. True. But, what's the proper way to use Cahill with a fully healthy bullpen? I would argue it would never be proper to use him -- unless it is like a 10-run blowout, in which case, who cares if it is Wood or Cahill?

Depending on what roles we want and need guys to fill, I can see a case for Wood making the playoff roster. I hate Wood just as much as the next guy. But, hear me out. Wood has been really tough on lefties this year. The periphs (BB, K, etc.) don't look good against lefties. But, he's been really tough to hit. And he has been great against them historically, too. I would be fine with him being used as a LOOGY in the playoffs, if he is used strictly as a LOOGY. None of this horsefeathers you are doing with him now, Joe. One guy and one guy only. And only when necessary. If it's the seventh inning and L/R/L are due up, put in Strop. Don't you dare go to Wood in that situation. He should only be used in a situation like this: 5th inning, starter is having a rough go of it, and is in a jam. Lefty batter that struggles against lefties is coming to bat. If Strop and Rondon are healthy and the 7-8-9 Bullpen of Doom is intact, that drops Edwards and Grimm back as guys to fill in whenever necessary. That makes Cahill a little redundant. And Montgomery doesn't really have huge platoon splits. So having a LOOGY makes some sense, as long as he is just a LOOGY.

Kyle is going to finish the year with a sub-2.00 ERA and deservedly win the Cy Young.

There are so many things in this tweet to absorb. 1. What!? 2. How does he throw upwards of 100 mph with what is not his natural hand? What a freak. 3. Looking at his splits, does he need to go back to switch hitting? 4. If he went back to switch hitting, would he be better than Kris Bryant? 5. How does him swinging so hard that he hurt his back make him decide to stop swinging left-handed when he is naturally a lefty? 6. How hard did he have to swing left-handed to hurt his back, considering how hard he kept swinging right-handed? 7. Can he pitch left-handed on days that he is not playing the field?

yes, Wrigley debut but it definitely sounded like Anthony called it his big league debut. Interestingly enough Z was in line to win in his major league debut but that's the game Chapman blew in Colorado. It would have been so much better if Javy said that, for NSBB meme reasons.