Oh, fine, whatever, I get it and think it's stupid how is it stupid? do you not judge people for other horsefeathers ways they might treat people poorly and inflict emotional harm on them? i am obviously much less bothered by his infidelity than by the possibility that he physically harmed her in some way, but there's no question that it is a horsefeathers thing to do and makes him a horsefeathers person. Cheating is a complex thing that involves a whole lot of factors and since I'm not in their (or anyone else's)relationship I think it's silly to make moral judgments about someone else's relationship issue. Relationships horsefeathers up all the time. I don't see why that makes someone who did something in the context of that relationship a bad person. I guess there could be an instance of a power assertion thing that would be pretty bad. Like, if he did cheat a bunch and then blame her for it like was quoted and that starts to get in the realm of abusive but that's not the same thing as general infidelity.