Sammy Sofa
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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa
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Yeah, THAT'S what made Happ have a terrible AB. -
Fuckin' hysterical.
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Jesus Christ. You just have to laugh at Happ's post-HR numbers.
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I'd prefer it if it didn't even get to the point of a desperate hope that a call is overturned because their big FA is a bust and the Cubs suck at getting guys in from 3B.
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ONLY THE REJECTS CAN HIT.
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Thames, like Ohtani, singlehandedly has half as many dongs as the entire Cubs team does.
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David, every year your sig annihilates one of the players in it.
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Guys, GUYS; save some of this offensive awesomeness for the rest of the season! Pace yourselves!
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[expletive], I didn't realize Bautista was THAT bad last year.
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Why are you talking like a dude playing OF has to lead off.
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Corbs sock.
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Jesus, I just made the mistake of looking at the Cubs' offensive rankings. YEAH, I KNOW: SAMPLE SIZE. But hey, there are a bunch of teams kicking ass in that same sample size, too....that would be more fun! Or, heck, just reaching the NL average for OPS.
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Yeesh. Even I'd rather inexplicably talk about the doomed to be eternally terrible Bears than talk about that nightmare of a lineup. Though I guess it makes sense that you'd need to trot something like that out to give guys an extra day off and deal with injuries when you're...*checks calendar*...eight days into the season.
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https://deadspin.com/shohei-ohtanis-third-dinger-was-a-mighty-bomb-1825072302 Not so fun early baseball stats: stupid dumb jerk Ohtani has already hit 3 dongs. The Cubs as a team have hit 6.
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Guys, the real answer is that the offense early on in the season is a bag of farts that hinges on convoluted nonsense like multiple batters to score a measly single run, or a lunatic getting conked on the head by a thrown baseball so he can pull off an inside the park HR, instead of just cutting to the chase and smothering us all in DONGS. Keep it simple, stupid: more dongs = more wins. THIS IS ALL SCIENCE.
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Tree all up in these stressful gam threads like: May your run be long and filled with taco meat. Because if it isn't...
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tree, you are now gam thread.
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2018 Game Thread Starters
Sammy Sofa replied to Sammy Sofa's topic in Fred Hornkohl Game Thread Forum
Already on our 5th starter because these dingbats can't even win 2 games in a row against nothing but bum teams. TREE, DO YOUR THING. -
Carl and Wilson: take notes.
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Wilson is such a horsefeathering dork.
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Big time.
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Damn, Baez got CLOCKED by that ball. What a madman.
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Heck yes.
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Why would this possibly be something a non-umpire human being would ever consider.
