Omar

They literally upgraded the whole thing, so yes and by upgraded the whole thing you mean demolished the dumpy piece of crap, turned it into a batting cage, and dug a huge hole and built a state of the art clubhouse underground. Is that one awkward urinal by the entrance to the dugout still there?

Ricketts interview on NPR this morning

Did anything else in the locker room get upgraded? Steam room? Sauna? Exercise room? Usually after leaving those and going outside, you don't feel the cold as bad.

Well, it's your fault if we suck Is that steering wheel on the wrong side of the car? the picture is mirrored

why not put the metal detectors indoors?

Reds v. Lester Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jay Bruce 12 11 2 1 0 0 3 0 3 .182 .167 .273 .439 0 1 0 0 0 Brandon Phillips 12 12 5 1 0 0 2 0 3 .417 .417 .500 .917 0 0 0 0 0 Joey Votto 9 9 2 1 1 0 1 0 2 .222 .222 .556 .778 0 0 0 0 0 Eugenio Suarez 8 8 1 0 0 1 1 0 2 .125 .125 .500 .625 0 0 0 0 0 Zack Cozart 5 4 1 0 0 0 2 0 1 .250 .200 .250 .450 0 1 0 0 0 Billy Hamilton 5 5 4 1 0 0 0 0 0 .800 .800 1.000 1.800 0 0 0 0 0 Brandon Allen 3 3 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 .333 .333 1.333 1.667 0 0 0 0 0 Ivan De Jesus 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Adam Duvall 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Tyler Holt 3 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .333 .333 .333 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Total 63 61 17 4 1 2 10 0 15 .279 .270 .475 .745 0 2 0 0 0 Has not faced: Tucker Barnhart, Devin Mesoraco, Jordan Pacheco and Scott Schebler & Has not faced pitchers: Tony Cingrani, Caleb Cotham, Jumbo Diaz, Brandon Finnegan, J.J. Hoover, Raisel Iglesias, Ross Ohlendorf, Keyvius Sampson, Alfredo Simon, Dan Straily and Blake Wood Cubs v. Finnegan Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jason Heyward 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 John Lackey 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Has not faced: Kris Bryant, Dexter Fowler, Munenori Kawasaki, Tommy La Stella, Miguel Montero, Anthony Rizzo, David Ross, Addison Russell, Jorge Soler, Matt Szczur and Ben Zobrist & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Arrieta, Trevor Cahill, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Kyle Hendricks, Jon Lester, Neil Ramirez, Clayton Richard, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop, Adam Warren and Travis Wood

"Bromentum" Len is having a midlife and trying to relive his college days

Less than Jake.

I hate La Stella slightly less.

That was called a ball in the first inning.

I don't like the Diamondbacks uniforms, and the carousel of the uniforms we saw this weekend was like having to swipe left on Tinder 4x in a row.

That home run is worth a commercial break smoke.

Cubs v. Miller Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jason Heyward 14 12 3 0 0 1 1 2 3 .250 .357 .500 .857 0 0 0 0 0 Anthony Rizzo 12 11 2 0 0 0 1 1 1 .182 .250 .182 .432 0 0 0 0 0 Jorge Soler 11 9 4 0 0 2 2 2 3 .444 .545 1.111 1.657 0 0 0 0 0 Dexter Fowler 10 8 0 0 0 0 0 2 4 .000 .200 .000 .200 0 0 0 0 0 Kris Bryant 6 5 1 1 0 0 1 1 3 .200 .333 .400 .733 0 0 0 0 0 Miguel Montero 6 6 3 1 0 0 2 0 1 .500 .500 .667 1.167 0 0 0 0 0 Kyle Hendricks 5 5 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .200 .200 .200 .400 0 0 0 0 0 Jake Arrieta 4 4 1 0 0 0 0 0 3 .250 .250 .250 .500 0 0 0 0 0 David Ross 3 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 .000 .333 .000 .333 0 0 0 0 0 Addison Russell 3 2 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 .500 .667 1.000 1.667 0 0 0 0 0 Matt Szczur 2 2 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 .500 .500 2.000 2.500 0 0 0 0 0 Travis Wood 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 John Lackey 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 79 69 17 3 0 4 8 10 22 .246 .342 .464 .806 0 0 0 0 0 Has not faced: Munenori Kawasaki, Tommy La Stella and Ben Zobrist & Has not faced pitchers: Trevor Cahill, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Jon Lester, Neil Ramirez, Clayton Richard, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop and Adam Warren D'Backs v. Arrieta Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jean Segura 17 17 3 0 0 0 1 0 3 .176 .176 .176 .353 0 0 0 0 0 Paul Goldschmidt 9 7 1 0 0 0 0 2 4 .143 .333 .143 .476 0 0 0 0 0 David Peralta 9 9 3 2 0 0 4 0 2 .333 .333 .556 .889 0 0 0 0 0 Shelby Miller 4 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Chris Owings 4 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Yasmany Tomas 4 4 1 0 0 0 2 0 3 .250 .250 .250 .500 0 0 0 0 0 Nick Ahmed 3 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .333 .333 .333 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Brandon Drury 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 1 Chris Herrmann 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Jake Lamb 3 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .333 .333 .333 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Rubby De La Rosa 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Zack Greinke 2 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1.000 1.000 1.000 2.000 0 0 0 0 0 Philip Gosselin 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Robbie Ray 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 65 62 11 2 0 0 8 3 18 .177 .215 .210 .425 0 0 0 0 1 Has not faced: Socrates Brito, Welington Castillo and Rickie Weeks & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Barrett, Andrew Chafin, Tyler Clippard, Patrick Corbin, Randall Delgado, Daniel Hudson and Brad Ziegler

Houston/Milwaukee game just ended with the slide rule causing 2 outs (instead of 1)

This is not a team you can pitch around.

It's nice to have a patient shortstop.

Fun fact: John Lackey has allowed 262 home runs in his career, tied for 93 all-time. http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/HR_p_career.shtml

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Schwarber will be day-to-day and return on Wednesday April 13th, next game after opening day.

Cubs v. Ray Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Dexter Fowler 6 6 3 0 0 1 1 0 0 .500 .500 1.000 1.500 0 0 0 0 0 Kris Bryant 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Anthony Rizzo 3 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .333 .333 .333 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Jake Arrieta 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Jason Heyward 2 2 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 .500 .500 .500 1.000 0 0 0 0 0 David Ross 2 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 .000 .500 .000 .500 0 0 0 0 0 Addison Russell 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 20 19 5 0 0 1 4 1 6 .263 .300 .421 .721 0 0 0 0 0 Has not faced: Tommy La Stella, Miguel Montero, Kyle Schwarber, Jorge Soler, Matt Szczur and Ben Zobrist & Has not faced pitchers: Trevor Cahill, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Kyle Hendricks, John Lackey, Jon Lester, Neil Ramirez, Clayton Richard, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop, Adam Warren and Travis Wood D'Backs vs. Hammel Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jean Segura 15 14 1 0 0 0 0 0 4 .071 .071 .071 .143 1 0 0 0 0 Paul Goldschmidt 9 8 3 1 0 1 3 1 1 .375 .444 .875 1.319 0 0 1 0 0 Rickie Weeks 9 8 3 1 0 0 0 1 1 .375 .444 .500 .944 0 0 1 0 0 Chris Owings 5 5 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .200 .200 .200 .400 0 0 0 0 0 Zack Greinke 4 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 .000 .333 .000 .333 1 0 0 0 0 Nick Ahmed 3 3 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 .333 .333 1.000 1.333 0 0 0 0 0 David Peralta 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Philip Gosselin 2 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .500 .500 .500 1.000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 50 45 10 2 1 1 3 3 10 .222 .271 .378 .649 2 0 2 0 0 Has not faced: Socrates Brito, Welington Castillo, Brandon Drury, Chris Herrmann, Jake Lamb and Yasmany Tomas & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Barrett, Andrew Chafin, Tyler Clippard, Patrick Corbin, Rubby De La Rosa, Randall Delgado, Kyle Drabek, Daniel Hudson, Shelby Miller, Robbie Ray and Brad Ziegler

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its not too bad when you have work 9-5

pythag W-L% currently stands at .931

maybe its deeper than all of this. maybe psychologically (subconsciously) we put him on the same boat as fellow douches, Newt Gingrich and John Edwards.