Honestly, I'd probably strike out, as would everyone else on here who hasn't played in forever. You're kidding yourself if you think you'd be able to pick out a slider or curveball without having seen live pitching in years. I'd expect the fastball and end up swinging at a 45-foot curveball.
he's played all of 7 games He's played more games than you have. Jerk. He was raking in spring training, then got hurt, and has come back hot after missing time. One of our prospects deserves a chance, for crying out loud.
When the opposing pitcher is right-handed, I question half of No. 1. I'll rephrase. Edmonds is not better than a Johnson/Pie platoon. Call up Hoffpauir (who's been raking ever since spring training) and start him in RF. Move Fukudome to CF. Problems solved.