Moises a loo

I don't know, all these eloquent critiques are so inspiring. I can't even decide which parody to write next: You Can't Always Hit When You Want Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted To Cubs There's No End To The Curse And We Know It (And I Will Whine) Stop! In The Baseman's Glove Wish They All Could Be Fukudome Twirls While My Fanbase Gently Weeps When the dude hits a jack but it's caught at the track That's Aramis When his day's error-free, thanks to big Derrek Lee That's Aramis When you flush down the can a great year that began With such promise Hey there bub that's the rub playing third for the Cubs That's Aramis I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I think some people take this stuff way too seriously. I don't think there's ever been a needier group of fans in the history of sports than Cub fans. Maybe if the fans would get over themselves and their "pain", it wouldn't be so life-and-death for the players and they could relax and perform to their abilities in the playoffs. So yeah, that's my whole message here. Have fun with it. And if you don't like song parodies, you don't have to read them.

Thank you

Manny vs. Sox is too good to pass up. If I were MLB, I'd make it happen at all costs.

Maybe if we throw in Ronny Cedeno, they'll add Jay bruce. They'd have to add Cueto too or NO DEAL

Lee and Marshall for Votto and Bailey

I'll have you know I'm a nine year old girl from Zimbabwe

Wow, dude, sorry no one liked yours. Cause I know mine was OUTSTANDING.

We're not done venting yet, are we? Because that would be a shame. (to the tune of "I Want A New Drug" by Huey Lewis and the News) I want a new Cub One that won't make me hurl One that won't win a hundred games Then turn into a girl I want a new CUB One that ain't 'fraid o' goats One that won't crap his pants When the team needs him most One that won't make me freak out One that won't make me spew One that won't play hopscotch in left field like you-know-who And knows the strike zone too I want a new Cub One that won't tempt fate One that won't pitch like Mr. Magoo When Derek Lowe is at the plate I want a new CUB One I'm proud to call mine One that lights up the other team Not the suicide hot line One that won't make me nervous One that ain't filled with fear One that will not play like Miss October every year Year after year after year After year after year after year, baby I want a new Cub One that plays like a man One that won't blame a stinking cat One that won't blame a stinking fan I want a new CUB One that plays like he should One that's less like "Neal and Bob"* One that's more like HARDEN/ WOOD One that won't get my hopes up Then turn around and choke One that makes me feel like I'm not a freaking joke Makin' we want to croak Chokety choke choke choke Choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke *some apologies to Cotts, whose name was in the wrong place at the wrong time

I thought Edmonds was the only one who wears makeup. And he played fine. Also, anyone think the Giants would trade Zito's contract for Soriano's? (No I'm not kidding or [expletive], it's a serious question)

What sucks is he'll be the guy who loses his everyday job to get another lefty in there.

Manny vs. Red Sox in the WS. Book it.

Reed Johnson hasn't been used at all. Why the hell not pinch hit him?

FRANKERAGE -- "Sometimes fat guys....make the worst TV shows..."

I dont believe in curses. I believe in fate. I believe in the yin and the yang. I believe that for every action ther's an equal and opposite reaction. For example, for every hitler there's a gahndi. For every rainy day, there's a sunny one. For every winning baseball club, there's gotta be a loser. Just so happens it's always our team. No curses, no hexes, just fate, and there's nothing we can do about it. Gandhi was an a-hole

A year like this is necessary to lower expectations. JUST WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR, they'll be horrible, wink wink

Some of them were funny, and they deserve to enjoy every minute of this, just as we would if the tables were turned. Congratulations on the first two games, hope you choke on the last three. It's technically not impossible.

Excellent, thank you. It's like the stakes are so high they're paralyzed with fear. And telling them to "man up" only makes it worse. And movies are usually popular because there's at least a kernel of truth in there, otherwise people wouldn't relate. Professional baseball is exactly like the movies. Yeah, that's exactly what I said

http://pawatercooler.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/charlie_brown_lucy_football.jpg

Excellent, thank you. It's like the stakes are so high they're paralyzed with fear. And telling them to "man up" only makes it worse. And movies are usually popular because there's at least a kernel of truth in there, otherwise people wouldn't relate.

I've already admitted that not starting Harden was over the top. But I really do think the idea of embracing the "curse" as a way of taking pressure off the players could have some merit. "We all know we're gonna find some way to blow this thing anyway, but we have to play the games so what are you gonna do". Think the "Dread Pirate Roberts" from "Princess Bride": "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning". I'm not joking and I'm pretty sure I'm not [expletive]. Have some fun with this thing or it's never going to happen.

Ozzie? You mean the guy with WS ring? Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Lou has a ring, player and manager. Holy crap you're right. Never mind, he's doing great, all is well. He just doesn't have his horses, dude.

Ozzie? You mean the guy with WS ring? Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical. Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off! Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical. The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector. The plan is a little outrageous, I'll admit that. I'm emotional like a lot of people right now. But the principle -- that it's up to the manager to find a way to take pressure off his team -- is solid. Maybe someone else has a realistic idea of how it could be done? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Because what they're doing is working so well. My annual salary is in the low $40k range. I really wish I made six figures and could afford a nicer car, and maybe buy a house sometime soon. Clearly, what I am doing has not been working. So it's time to try something new. Something wacky. Today, in my afternoon meeting, I am going to punch my boss in the throat and take a dump on the overhead projector. I will then hurtle my body down a flight of stairs while singing the chorus to "Shiny, Happy People" by REM. Once I hit the bottom, I will spring up and shout "TA DA!" and spread my arms wide in triumph. Maybe then my fortunes will turn. If you knew you were about to lose your job anyway, those might be perfectly reasonable things to do. The point is, they have nothing to lose at this point so they may as well start acting like it.

Because what they're doing is working so well. This team is better than this, and we all know it. The trick is how to get them to show it now, when it counts. And at least some of that falls on the manager, who apparently has no clue what to do right now.