Sammy Sofa

Greg Halman? That was back at the end of the 2011 season: http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/8286055/seattle-mariners-gregory-halman-days-leading-death-hands-brother-jason

I blame this kind of soft nonsense for nu-metal.

I know.

Ray LaMontagne. ALRIGHT: everyone post the lamest soft alt.rock.

Only sulley's teams: http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wV50c_lx--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/spnrpwlos8bpqi8zjhsb.gif

I KNOW. I'm just saying I'd rather get rid of the Pirates from the Central! http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/Jack-Nicholson.gif

What the [expletive]. This is horrible. Just awful.

We've been talking about why the Bears stink; they stink to a point that their offense has to truly be elite basically all the time to overcome how putrid the rest of the team is. Bull [expletive]. It's perfectly reasonable to expect the Bears to have done a better job raising the defense from one of the very west to even just tolerably bad. It's perfectly reasonable to expect the defense to not allow teams to march up and down the field on them; about the best you can say about them is they've inexplicably stepped up and turned a few sure touchdowns into field goals. It shouldn't and can't be that you're relying only on turnovers as the only metric of quality defensive play. Just these past two games, it's obscene how rarely the other team has punted. You can't only hope for interceptions or fumbles. It was obviously on the offense, but now the defense has stepped up to take equal blame. Again, the offense has shown last year, and even at times this year, why they can win games. The defense, at best, has stayed as terrible as they were last year. That's far more concerning to me because there's absolutely no light for that at the end of that tunnel for the rest of the season. Even if the offense turns it on you've got a gushing sieve on the other side of the ball. Again, what we're learning is that the OL basically ran on a razor's edge last year and any major changes and injuries have sent them regressing. Somehow what's happened this year has been more damaging to the Bears starting QB going down last year.

No, I mean, leave the Pirates in Pittsburgh and send them to the AL East.

Well, yeah; he still looks and acts like a serial killer and is the musical equivalent of a rippling beef fart. Plus, given her other stories about him, I doubt he was looking for anything besides a quick [expletive]. Random aside: all of this talk of soft white music inexplicably made me think of Pete Yorn. How was that asshat kinda big for a bit?

Somehow give them the Pirates instead.

That's an over simplification that also completely ignores how bad the special teams are, too. "The game" isn't just throwing out such a ridiculously lopsided team and hoping the offense carries it; the Bears are too deeply flawed for that to work. How many competitive teams go out there with one of the very worst defenses in the league two years running and without an elite QB (and apparently questionable, at best, coaching all around) and kick ass? I like Cutler and he can be damn good, but it's becoming more and more clear that he's got the guy to carry such a flawed team. The Bears have to be more balanced, and no, that's not saying the defense has to be amazing or even good, but both it and the ST can't be horrendous. Their offense can be fantastic, but it's set up where everything has to run perfectly. Marshall and Alshon can't be hobbled at all and the OL can't be injured. Cutler was knocked out last year and yet they were still able to succeed with the other offensive parts working. This whole team is a cobbled together mess. This can't just be chalked up only as the offense underperforming; the rest of the team being SO bad and not improving at all off of last year is crippling and inexcusable.

Hugely disagree with that; we were expecting/hoping for a mediocre defense. The latter isn't what anyone (I hope) was expecting; they are literally dependent on the turnover and have absolutely no other way of stopping the opposing team. But one would assume the offensive talent is still there, unless we're just assuming they've forgotten how to play. The defense was garbage last year and has only gotten worse; that's far more concerning to me because there's not even a baseline of tolerable that we can hope they can back to since for a season and a half now they've shown nothing. An offense simply isn't going to carry a team if you've effectively abandoned half of the team based on the product you've put on the field.

This has not been anywhere near a middle of the pack defense. That is the crux of the issue. Right; they basically put together two games where they looked serviceable, but those games are sandwiched by parades of crap and, most disconcertingly, they're trending in the wrong direction.

But we've crossed the point where we can say the offense would have/should have carried the team. The defense is THAT bad; again, you're looking at last year's offense maybe winning one more game to this point. Plus the offense last year seemed to be benefiting from a much healthier receiving group and OL. Injuries/regression have to be expected, but at the same time all they had to do was get the defense to be not terrible, and yet somehow it seems even worse at this point. You essentially have a team that seemingly has to have first possession and has to score a TD on that possession just so they can, at best, go blow for blow with the opposing team. I don't care how good your offense is or is supposed to be; if your defense is THIS vulnerable and easily taken down your offense can't carry you. It can't be that lopsided.

He's been talking about the 2013 team like it was scoring at least 28 points a game; I'm not the only one to have called it out. When you've got someone talking like last year's offense would have all but been a lock to be making up for this year's defense to the point that he thinks the Bears would have 2-3 more wins it's faulty.

It's semantics, but please stop saying things like "this team scored 28 points per game." They averaged 28 points a game over the course of the season.

Wha? That's not how averages work. That's not a guarantee they're scoring 28 or more. I understand that. Point again...... That's not the 10th best scoring offense in the league. If the Bears were 10th per game, they'd probably have 5 wins instead of 5 losses. Maybe. Again, the defense is allowing scoring that even the best offense would have trouble consistently beating. The defense is now the glaring problem; even if they were putting up points like last year there's a good chance they'd only have one more win.

That's not really how averages work. The Bears scored less than 28 points 9 times last year. Alright, good; I thought I was going crazy. I'm like the biggest idiot with numbers with here and even I knew that his stance was wonky.

Wha? That's not how averages work. That's not a guarantee they're scoring 28 or more.

Good enough for 10th in the league in scoring...and now the defense...32nd in league in scoring. I was going to say that they're above average. 23 20 19 38 31 13 27 51 Yay defense? That's a 5-3 or 6-2 team with what is supposed to be an elite offense. 4 of those are going to easily trouble or trounce even an elite offense.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/7710768db13dc5cf4576c4e94239b3db/tumblr_ms1nryRs0N1s2cd24o1_500.gif

I would absolutely cheer that moron hurting himself celebrating after getting completely embarrassed. It's not like he has a neck injury and you're worried he's going to be paralyzed. At worst, he won't be able to play for most of a year. yeah, but you're the guy who likes kiddie porn See, this is why we love sulley. He has a rampage like today's and then in a single post he redeems himself.

And the Lions.

Garbaaaaaaaage tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmme...and the living's easy.