Sammy Sofa

I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive but, really Matheny? You're fans aren't special you dick. Seriously I've seen nothing about an outpouring of grief from the Cubs fans. I thank him though for it only taking a day for me to be able to go back to hating the cardinals again. Thanks, jerk. It's baffling how anyone could be mad over this.

I'll follow you, but it'll be to your house to beat the crap out of you. http://ronethebeatdfw.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/jayzyikes.gif?w=420 Everything this dude posts is terrifying.

Portland would be better, but then you have Portland in the AL East. Easy. Move Detroit to the AL East, Houston to the AL Central, and Portland to the AL West. Detroit has ties to the AL East (pre-realignment) and Houston is the new AL member and has ties to playing in a central division NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This offends me.

http://replygif.net/i/1218.gif

Can you act like a decent human being for two seconds?

His contract is pretty well set up for them to cut him and not have it cripple them.

Looking back on the years we lived in Southeast Asia it's a miracle we were never in any kind of car wreck.

I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive but, really Matheny? Eh; the whole organization and fanbase is in mourning and you're just reeling for things to say that aren't heartbreaking. You'd likely see nearly any team say something along those lines. Plus it's not like that was the entire statement:

I'm sure everyone had a bunch of sports/competition-related thoughts go through their head. It's not difficult to actually exercise some self-control.

Really? No second thoughts before hitting "post?"

I made this thread a STAAAAAARRRRRR.

Man, this is incredibly depressing. To try and lighten things up a bit; he did inspire maybe the greatest player graphic of all time: http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--VIO_MPNy--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/17hjeamauz9gajpg.jpg

You wouldn't know good power pop if it slapped you in the balls.

Think these guys:

No, [expletive] you, you've ruined it.

Greg Halman? That was back at the end of the 2011 season: http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/8286055/seattle-mariners-gregory-halman-days-leading-death-hands-brother-jason

I blame this kind of soft nonsense for nu-metal.

I know.

Ray LaMontagne. ALRIGHT: everyone post the lamest soft alt.rock.

Only sulley's teams: http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wV50c_lx--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/spnrpwlos8bpqi8zjhsb.gif

I KNOW. I'm just saying I'd rather get rid of the Pirates from the Central! http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/Jack-Nicholson.gif

What the [expletive]. This is horrible. Just awful.

We've been talking about why the Bears stink; they stink to a point that their offense has to truly be elite basically all the time to overcome how putrid the rest of the team is. Bull [expletive]. It's perfectly reasonable to expect the Bears to have done a better job raising the defense from one of the very west to even just tolerably bad. It's perfectly reasonable to expect the defense to not allow teams to march up and down the field on them; about the best you can say about them is they've inexplicably stepped up and turned a few sure touchdowns into field goals. It shouldn't and can't be that you're relying only on turnovers as the only metric of quality defensive play. Just these past two games, it's obscene how rarely the other team has punted. You can't only hope for interceptions or fumbles. It was obviously on the offense, but now the defense has stepped up to take equal blame. Again, the offense has shown last year, and even at times this year, why they can win games. The defense, at best, has stayed as terrible as they were last year. That's far more concerning to me because there's absolutely no light for that at the end of that tunnel for the rest of the season. Even if the offense turns it on you've got a gushing sieve on the other side of the ball. Again, what we're learning is that the OL basically ran on a razor's edge last year and any major changes and injuries have sent them regressing. Somehow what's happened this year has been more damaging to the Bears starting QB going down last year.

No, I mean, leave the Pirates in Pittsburgh and send them to the AL East.

Well, yeah; he still looks and acts like a serial killer and is the musical equivalent of a rippling beef fart. Plus, given her other stories about him, I doubt he was looking for anything besides a quick [expletive]. Random aside: all of this talk of soft white music inexplicably made me think of Pete Yorn. How was that asshat kinda big for a bit?