Sammy Sofa

Yeah, but most of these guys have immortal legacies as Cubs already even if they never played again. You're good. i'm still regretting not having bought one of the gold numbered ones from last year Yeah, me too.

Man, who would have technically been the last fatguy pitcher they've had? Scott Eyre? I must be forgetting someone since. And no, Zambrao definitely doesn't count. Dude was THICK.

Yeah, but most of these guys have immortal legacies as Cubs already even if they never played again. You're good.

I'm definitely making my first named jersey since Prior a Contreras jersey.

Lester is prob the closest thing to a fat guy on the roster Yeah, I was looking for a giant baby-looking guy with a big ol' gut, and was let down when I realized that was him at the front. Start snacking more, dammit!

Contreras because he's the second coolest and a bajillion people are gong to have Baez shirts/jerseys. Rizzo because that's a great name to have on your back.

I'm weirdly disappointed that the Cubs haven't had a classic fatguy pitcher in forever.

President Chugalug.

Once again, it's not a huge deal; just probably not the best idea. If he had said something as broad as you did here? Great! Specifically pointing out that Quintana's team-friendly deal that helped make this happen? Probably something that's not necessary to single out. YES, WE KNOW.

Once again, it's not a huge deal; just probably not the best idea. If he had said something as broad as you did here? Great! Specifically pointing out that Quintana's team-friendly deal that helped make this happen? Probably something that's not necessary to single out.

I kinda feel like I really wasted this gif by not applying it to minnesotacubsfan in the first place:

Look, I know a lot of you think being a baseball robot is the thing that all the cool kids do, but it's more than a little odd to be talking about how you could afford the guy you just signed because the guy you traded for the year before is on a VERY team-friendly deal. Like, everyone knows it's true and he's right, but it just seems like one of those things where you don't talk it up to the press. What's the point? Similarly, I know it's en vogue to be on the lookout for exploitation of players given the current offseason(and to an extent, political) climate, but I don't see a big issue in clarifying the logic behind the moves when there's a direct correlation. Quintana is on a team friendly deal, and part of that is a function of the arbitration system, but he's on a team friendly deal because of a conscious choice he made to lock in tens of millions of dollars that were far from certain at the time. I'd love for the Quintana's of the world to get a larger share of the pie in the future too, but I don't think it's gauche to point out that the contract he signed with another team facilitated other moves. There's just zero need for it beyond, "hey, look how smart we are." When you're talking about your franchise in The Show, great! When it's something that involves actual people that you're going to have to negotiate with, maybe it would be the smarter play to not try to needlessly show off at what is arguably at Quintana's expense. Like, I doubt anyone would want Theo talking up how great it is that Rizzo and Bryant are so affordable vs. their production right now when they sign Harper next year. Basically there was no "logic that needed to be clarified." It's not a huge deal, but it probably wasn't the best choice, that's all.

Look, I know a lot of you think being a baseball robot is the thing that all the cool kids do, but it's more than a little odd to be talking about how you could afford the guy you just signed because the guy you traded for the year before is on a VERY team-friendly deal. Like, everyone knows it's true and he's right, but it just seems like one of those things where you don't talk it up to the press. What's the point?

Yeah, it seems strange. When I heard Theo say it, I didn't take it at all negatively as a few of you have. Theo has talked a few times about how disappointed and frustrated he's been for the players this offseason. Can't imagine many other front office types have talked like that. He's said all the right things even if he doesn't mean it. I mean, I think Theo enjoys giving fans some insight/education into the decision making process and strategy involved in the transactions they make, and this was just an opportunity to circle back and talk again about why the quintana trade was such a good one for the cubs even though they had to surrender pretty serious prospect talent. his comments yesterday close the loop by showing exactly how the quintana deal afforded the cubs the ability to make another significant move for a pitcher. I get all that. I don’t think what he said is incredibly scandalous or anything... I was mostly kidding. Jose agreed to that contract when he was under no obligation to do so, and it wasn’t Theo that made the deal. It just struck me as kind of funny given the state of things is all. Exactly. I mean, I'm assuming he was addressing something brought up in a question asked of him, right? Otherwise why even bring up Quintana in that context?

He's not, which is why I said something, like, "it's this close" to being that. Basically we all get what he's saying, and he's not actually going, "nyaaaah-nyaaaaah," but given the seemingly growing discontent among the players and the union towards team owners and FOs, it just seems like now maybe isn't the time to essentially be bragging, however tactfully, about how you were able to sign one really good pitcher because you've got another really good pitcher who is really underpaid on his current contract. Like, to the point it seems weird that Quintana was even brought up at all.

Yeah, pretty sure a player is never going to be thrilled when the FO is gloating about how little they have to pay him.

That's this close to Theo drunknely raving about how he can't believe how little they have to pay Quintana. yeah i'm sure jose loves hearing about how the cubs were just able to give a top 20 pitcher $126 million because he's a top 20 pitcher on a $26 million contract. I know, right? Like, rein it in, dude. Not a good look.

That's this close to Theo drunknely raving about how he can't believe how little they have to pay Quintana.

Theo always looks hammered.

Ohhhhh, so THAT'S what Trump was trying to type.

Most Terrifying Slash Line

Yeah, what makes me pause are my, admittedly, unfair expectations for Schwarber and Heyward going in to 2016, plus the assumption that godmode Jake was going to still be a thing all season.