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MPrior

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Everything posted by MPrior

  1. MPrior
    Man does my butt look big. I'm really unphotogenic - I don't look like that at all in person, I swear.
  2. MPrior
    Unnecessary quotation marks make me "laugh," especially when Chris Farley is saying things like this: That's right, Bennet Brauer here with another commentary. Didn't think the suits would have me back perhaps. Thought they'd have my dairy-air replaced by one of them store mannequin well maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly", I don't "wear clothes that fit me", I'm not a "heartbreaker", I haven't had "sex with a woman", I don't know "how that works", I don't "fall in line", I'm not "hygienic", I don't "wipe properly", I lack "style", I don't have "self-esteem", I have no "charisma", I don't "own a toothbrush", I don't "let my scabs heal", I can't "reach all the parts of my body", when I sleep I "sweat profusely." But I guess the powers that be will keep signing my pay check until Jack and Jane K. Viewer start to go for the remote so they can get back to commentators who don't "frighten children", who don't "eat their own dandruff", who don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school". Thank you, Kevin.
  3. MPrior
    Okay. So my name, it so happens, is J.D. And just now, very late at night, when you and I are two of the last people on this board, and you started with "C'mon JD...", I really had to concentrate to convince myself that you weren't stalking me and messing with my head.
  4. MPrior
    Using stats or conventional wisdom? Well clearly Neifi since if you asked every GM they would certainly take 162 games of Neifi over the 120 or so games you would get with Bonds. 'strue. I called 'em all, and they all said so. You didn't call me. My name is Wayne Krivsky. P.S. Please call me...I'm lonely. That's right, I called every GM except you - but you're used to that sort of thing, aren't you? You have no idea. I have to give out 3/15 deals to the girls downtown just to get any action at all...5/35 for the ones with teeth. Thought you could bury them at the back end of the bullpen, huh? Hmmmm....Note to Jim Hendry: tell Krivsky that Eyre has teeth (make sure to wink and nod when you do so). It should up his value significantly.
  5. MPrior
    Frankly, that's scary.
  6. MPrior
    Using stats or conventional wisdom? Well clearly Neifi since if you asked every GM they would certainly take 162 games of Neifi over the 120 or so games you would get with Bonds. 'strue. I called 'em all, and they all said so. You didn't call me. My name is Wayne Krivsky. P.S. Please call me...I'm lonely. That's right, I called every GM except you - but you're used to that sort of thing, aren't you?
  7. MPrior
    Using stats or conventional wisdom? Well clearly Neifi since if you asked every GM they would certainly take 162 games of Neifi over the 120 or so games you would get with Bonds. 'strue. I called 'em all, and they all said so.
  8. MPrior
    That bird-cat on the cat-bird really does it for you too? It's the cause of all the injuries. Sadly, I just can't stop.
  9. MPrior
    I came home just to see if there were any updates on the Soriano situation, and then go to bed. LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! Oh - by the way, do I get credit for being the last one up?
  10. MPrior
    Incredible.
  11. MPrior
    Frankly, I'm very unhappy about this. Soriano has a career slugging-heavy .835 OPS, and he's more likely to decline than he is to improve at this point. Even if he produces significantly above that average (say, .860) for all EIGHT YEARS of his contract, it's dramatically overpaying. The chances of that happening are practically nil, and he could wind up a huge bust as early as 2007, let alone 4 or 5 years down the line. I didn't read all fifty-whatever pages of the post, so I'm sure this has been argued to death, but I officially predict that this will come to be regarded as a terrible signing, unless the Cubs win the World Series very soon. Hendry could have just crippled this team for years to come. URGH! Just venting.
  12. MPrior
    Fixed.
  13. MPrior

    Cat or Dog?

    MPrior replied to Uber's topic in Chicago Cubs Talk

    I'm glad to see that the correct answer is leading this thing. While I tend to love 'em all, dogs are clearly the better choice. I love some cats, though - the ones that act like dogs. Also, as has already been pointed out, cats are more likely to exhibit behavior that you would expect out of the Antichrist.
  14. MPrior
    I currently have a male ferret, and back home in NC I have a male dog - my female dog just died.
  15. MPrior
    I second this notion. Soriano, simply put, is almost a certain bet not to live up to his contract. I've been thinking about this for a while now, actually, and I'm becoming more and more convinced that signing Soriano is a BAD idea. Drew, on the other hand, is likely to at least produce while he's healthy for the duration of his contract, and at a significantly higher level than Soriano. So if I were Hendry, I would put absolutely everything into signing Drew, forget about Soriano, and focus on upgrading the rotation and maybe trading for or signing another significant bat.
  16. MPrior
    Think outside the box, abuck. Outside the box. Well if Hendry, as someone suggested, was saying how happy he was as a way of touting Izturis, then Cleveland is simply trying to get Murton for less by saying that they're only interested in a position which the Cubs obviously have nothing to offer them. Obviously I meant that Hendry is thinking of new, creative ways to make this team worse: "Hmmm, I currently employ no less than five players who could, in a pinch, function as a back-up shortstop. How about I give them a cheap, young, productive and improving starting left fielder instead? Eureka!" Hmm. Could you point to where in the article Jim Hendry said, I will not trade you a shortstop. I will give you Matt Murton instead? Oh, this didn't come from an article. It came from one of my sources. My sources: Finn, my golden retriever, and Bear, my ferret.
  17. MPrior
    By my calculations, DLee makes about $80,000 per game. Figure about three hours a game... he's making near $450 per minute. Sorry, but you're coming up a little short. I would like to make $450 a minute. You know what? I'd even settle for $10 a minute, nice guy that I am, so Master Shake, you can pay one minute of my contract.
  18. MPrior
    See, this is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking I'm talking about!
  19. MPrior
    Think outside the box, abuck. Outside the box. Well if Hendry, as someone suggested, was saying how happy he was as a way of touting Izturis, then Cleveland is simply trying to get Murton for less by saying that they're only interested in a position which the Cubs obviously have nothing to offer them. Obviously I meant that Hendry is thinking of new, creative ways to make this team worse: "Hmmm, I currently employ no less than five players who could, in a pinch, function as a back-up shortstop. How about I give them a cheap, young, productive and improving starting left fielder instead? Eureka!"
  20. MPrior
    I don't have a problem including Dempster in a deal. Would it really be that hard to replace him as closer? We got Dempster off the trash heap and made him a closer. Not all that hard to do something similar again. Certainly if it means acquiring an innings-eating SP----I'd trade him. Wuertz.
  21. MPrior
    There's some funky math going on there.
  22. MPrior
    Think outside the box, abuck. Outside the box.
  23. MPrior
    I read someplace that his defense was terrible... Someone at all-baseball.com who has been watching the AFL says Patterson's offensive approach is fantastic, almost MLB ready, but that he should be moved to the outfiled now. i also think that it would be a good idea. if they can switch him to cf and pie to rf, they both could be up in the big leagues in 2008. he stats seem to point to a juan pierre type player with a much better (.375-.400) obp. i hope they dont wait too long if indeed his 2b defense is that bad. I think he's highly unlikely to post an OBP of .375-.400 consistently in the Majors. .335-.360 is much more likely, I think (mostly because he's not going to hit .345 in the majors).
  24. MPrior
    I more or less agree with you. Starting pitching could wind up being a HUGE problem. We've got holes more or less everywhere on this team, but I think those in the starting rotation will be the hardest to fill adequately. That said, the rotation is also where there's the most potential for pleasant surprise - Prior could come back (although we shouldn't count on it), Miller could regain some of his old form (although we shouldn't count on it), Hill could post ace-like numbers (although, again, we shouldn't count on it), and Wood could be back in the rotation and dominant towards the end of the year (which would basically be a miracle). But chances are, the rotation will be in shambles unless Hendry pulls something very nice out of his, um . . . hat.
  25. MPrior
    I'm going to assume this is a pun. If I'm right, you are up WAY too late.
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