Omar

wasn't alive in '85, but that Buddy Ryan part in the 30:30 gave me the feels

Kale shortage

So uhh. How do I invest in Bryzzo? The stock market is horsefeathers now

Peralta wants to see KB bat again, too.

It feels good to face other team's versions of Corey Patterson

Should have tagged.

I honestly don't believe it in the slightest. But hypothetically, the accusation would absolutely be enough to get somebody to stop. People have accused Donald Trump of being a racist and that hasn't stopped him from being racist. hey man he just announced today that he's dropping the muslim ban and changing it to only blocking certain countries known for harboring terrorists

Possibly a firewall too, if you're on a work computer.

sexual favors

Jake threw a no-hitter on my birthday

mandatory use of the float tank in the clubhouse? So far, I've only heard of Rizzo using it once.

Cubs v. cares, who Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Anthony Rizzo 6 4 0 0 0 0 0 2 1 .000 .333 .000 .333 0 0 0 0 0 Jason Heyward 5 5 2 0 0 0 2 0 3 .400 .400 .400 .800 0 0 0 0 0 Kris Bryant 4 4 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 .250 .250 .250 .500 0 0 0 0 0 Ben Zobrist 4 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 John Lackey 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Miguel Montero 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 .000 .667 .000 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Addison Russell 3 1 1 0 0 1 1 2 0 1.000 1.000 4.000 5.000 0 0 0 0 0 Javier Baez 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 1 Total 30 24 4 0 0 1 4 6 7 .167 .333 .292 .625 0 0 0 0 1 Has not faced: Albert Almora, Chris Coghlan, Willson Contreras, David Ross and Matt Szczur & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Arrieta, Trevor Cahill, Gerardo Concepcion, Carl Edwards, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Kyle Hendricks, Jon Lester, Spencer Patton, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop and Travis Wood Reds v. Arrieta Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Zack Cozart 16 16 4 1 0 0 1 0 4 .250 .250 .313 .563 0 0 0 0 1 Billy Hamilton 15 12 3 1 0 0 2 3 3 .250 .400 .333 .733 0 0 0 0 0 Jay Bruce 14 13 2 1 0 0 2 1 7 .154 .214 .231 .445 0 0 0 0 0 Brandon Phillips 14 14 4 2 0 0 2 0 1 .286 .286 .429 .714 0 0 0 0 0 Joey Votto 12 11 2 1 0 0 1 1 1 .182 .250 .273 .523 0 0 0 0 0 Anthony DeSclafani 4 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Eugenio Suarez 4 3 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 .000 .250 .000 .250 0 0 0 0 0 Adam Duvall 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Tucker Barnhart 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Ross Ohlendorf 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1.000 1 0 0 0 0 Brandon Finnegan 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 87 79 15 6 0 0 9 7 22 .190 .256 .266 .522 1 0 0 0 1 Has not faced: Ramon Cabrera, Ivan De Jesus, Tyler Holt and Jose Peraza & Has not faced pitchers: Tony Cingrani, J.J. Hoover, Raisel Iglesias, John Lamb, Michael Lorenzen, J.C. Ramirez, Cody Reed, Josh Smith, Dan Straily and Blake Wood

Video starts too late. That fan was basically Rick Monday II. Its funny, watching some longer highlights. The fan jumps over the railing right before the pitch is thrown, and the ball is hit right towards the fan.

do we get a 4th place participation trophy?

This is what happened when Jose Fernandez hit his first home run:

Cubs v. Five Hour Injury Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Jason Heyward 7 7 2 1 0 0 0 0 3 .286 .286 .429 .714 0 0 0 0 0 Miguel Montero 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Ben Zobrist 3 3 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 .333 .333 .333 .667 0 0 0 0 0 Total 13 13 3 1 0 0 1 0 4 .231 .231 .308 .538 0 0 0 0 0 Has not faced: Albert Almora, Javier Baez, Kris Bryant, Chris Coghlan, Willson Contreras, Anthony Rizzo, David Ross, Addison Russell and Matt Szczur & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Arrieta, Trevor Cahill, Gerardo Concepcion, Carl Edwards, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Kyle Hendricks, John Lackey, Jon Lester, Spencer Patton, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop and Travis Wood Marlins v. Hammel Name PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO BA OBP SLG OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG Ichiro Suzuki 31 29 10 2 0 0 4 2 8 .345 .387 .414 .801 0 0 0 0 0 Martin Prado 20 19 7 1 0 1 3 1 1 .368 .400 .579 .979 0 0 0 0 0 Giancarlo Stanton 15 15 6 1 0 1 2 0 4 .400 .400 .667 1.067 0 0 0 0 1 Adeiny Hechavarria 9 8 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 .125 .111 .125 .236 0 1 0 0 0 Marcell Ozuna 9 9 3 0 1 0 0 0 4 .333 .333 .556 .889 0 0 0 0 0 Christian Yelich 9 9 3 1 0 1 1 0 2 .333 .333 .778 1.111 0 0 0 0 0 Justin Bour 7 7 2 0 0 1 1 0 4 .286 .286 .714 1.000 0 0 0 0 0 Jeff Mathis 6 5 1 0 0 0 0 1 3 .200 .333 .200 .533 0 0 1 0 0 J.T. Realmuto 6 5 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 .000 .167 .000 .167 0 0 0 0 0 Cole Gillespie 5 5 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .200 .200 .200 .400 0 0 0 0 0 Chris Johnson 5 5 3 1 0 0 2 0 1 .600 .600 .800 1.400 0 0 0 0 0 Tom Koehler 4 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000 .000 .000 .000 1 0 0 0 0 Miguel Rojas 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 Total 129 122 37 6 1 4 14 5 33 .303 .328 .467 .795 1 1 1 0 1 Has not faced: Derek Dietrich & Has not faced pitchers: Kyle Barraclough, Wei-Yin Chen, Paul Clemens, Adam Conley, Mike Dunn, Brian Ellington, Jose Fernandez, Dustin McGowan, David Phelps, A.J. Ramos and Nick Wittgren

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylSiU1xcsrw Skip to 1:25 for best part.

it would have ruined his low post rate

An inner wheel that has positions on it -spinning the opposite direction

Now make it spin. Wheels are supposed to spin.

All the flamboyant colors are a cryout for attention because of the low participation

Is Ichiro injured or something? Why isn't he starting?

Happy birthday seal boy