The 2025 Chicago Cubs Bench Dudes Power Rankings

Before we dig in, this bench needs a nickname. The Bench Mob? The Squad? The Bearded Men? The Splendid Splinters? Might need to be a poll! 

This is intended to be power rankings. Since we have no games (that count) to go by, though, the aura of the player will be the sole determinant. Spring training results just mislead anyway.

1. Justin Turner
   The 40-year-old bearded redhead has had a long, successful career and is a World Series champion. While he's probably only an emergency option anywhere on the field but first base, the steady presence he'll provide will come in handy. I'm sure he'll have an impact on several games this season.
2. Kevin Alcántara
   The Jaguar has successfully given himself a really cool nickname. He's also a blast to watch. Alcántara won't start the season as a backup in the majors; he'll receive at-bats in Iowa until his services are needed. He's the first man up in case of an extended absence, though.
3. Jon Berti
   Fans are going to love his speed and hustle-based game. Berti might actually be in line to start in Japan, due to Matt Shaw's Dreaded Oblique (they played one of the small stages at Lolla back in 2013, I think). Along with his speed, Berti's versatility will make him an important piece for the 2025 Cubs.
4. Vidal Bruján
   He's a pretty flashy player on defense, and could be another chess piece for Craig Counsell to play with. He's on here because I watched him play in Durham as a Rays prospect and found him to be a likable player. He could, of course, fall off the rankings entirely if he becomes a non-Cub, which is somewhat unlikely right now as he's listed as the primary backup at all the outfield positions.
5. Gage Workman
   His middle name is literally Tater. Unfortunately, since he's never played above Double A, he may be a defense-only piece with versatility. Not sure the roster has enough space for all the versatile guys here. For now, Bruján has the edge, due to his ability to cover the outfield. Tater has played a bit in the grass this spring, but he doesn't have much experience anywhere but the left side of the infield.
6. Owen Caissie
   Sidelined by an injury, and a previous core injury has been revealed, so we probably won't see Caissie in Chicago until later this season—if at all.

Obviously, these rankings exclude backup catcher Carson Kelly, and they might be expanded to include Travis Jankowski, Greg Allen, Nicky Lopez, and/or James Triantos in future iterations. For now, though, this is the definitive list. If you have a good suggestion for a nickname for this group, as it comes together, feel free to throw it out. Best submission gets the smallest amount of internet-famous in recorded history.