There's an interesting gray area when it comes to pushing your child to be the best vs letting him or her be a kid. When my daughter swam competitively, there was an 8 year old boy who was an amazing swimmer. He competed against 9 and 10 year olds and won. He set local YMCA records in nearly every event he swam. It wasn't just natural talent, though. This kids father made him come to the YMCA every day before school to swim laps for an hour (in addition to another 90 minutes of practice each night). To me, that seemed like a lot for an 8 year old. Now I never saw any verbal abuse or "from the stands" coaching from the father, nor did I see any outward disappointment in second place finishes, so, as I said, it's a sort of fuzzy territory