I quit watching in the 7th last night. Got a good night's sleep and just got in to work. The whole time since I got up, I've had this scowl and blank stare on my face. Losses never effect me like this. But it really is a matter of expectations. I really thought this was going to be the year. For my folks, for my grandma, aunts and uncles, for Ron Santo, Billy Williams, Ernie Banks, for all the elderly (or even not so much) Cubs fans who are going to pass away without seeing a championship, and for me, I just feel disbelief. All that said, Saturday night I will be watching. I will be skeptical, but I will be watching. And if they take an early lead, I'll jump right into "believing" mode. I'll think, "oh man, we win tonight, take tomorrow and get it back in front of the home fans!" And "what a scene Game 5 will be when we complete the amazing comeback!" And I try to remember that someday, even if it's not this year, all of this emotional investment that we have made will pay off in the mother of all returns.