Choking doesn't have to leave marks or even redness. I took Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for about a year, and I don't recall seeing any indications on choke-hold days though I admit I wasn't looking for them (and we were using arms, not hands). Not trying to criticize you though - your point, that we should be careful about snap judgements, I agree with completely. I do have to disagree that a feeling of unease isn't warranted though. In his favor, that one incident appears to be the only history of DV. On the other hand, we know for certain is that he fired a gun off after some sort of fight (physical or not) with his girlfriend. That's not ok. Whether intended or not a threat is implicit in that action, and the fact that his mind apparently went to guns (and not even a gun range) right after a fight with his gf is frankly flat-out frightening. The reaction I'd like to see from him now is 'I did this, I hate that I lost control like that, and I'm doing everything I can to become a better person, the sort of person that can handle this in a mature way.' Maybe even "I'd rather leave my mistakes in the past." Instead, he's getting defensive, proclaiming that 'nothing happened, so why should I care' (see here). We had ONE brief instance of an appropriate-ish reaction at the start of the suspension (here), but obviously he dropped the good parts of that on coming back, as in the WaPo article. He appears to have no understanding as to why people see this incident as problematic. I'll feel better about this as time passes IF nothing else happens, but ... I really, really wish I could be confident that he's learned anything from this.