Look, everyone's been missing the point about Jones. The issue isn't his weight; if it were that simple, the Dodgers could bring in Oprah Winfrey, Rikki Lake, Starr Jones & Kirstie Alley as conditioning coaches to share his feelings about his self-esteem. No, my friends, the fundamental problem is Jones' spelling, specifically his inability to spell his first name properly! This has long been a portent of bad things to come, and for some time now, like a voice crying in the wilderness, I've been forecasting Jones' inevitable fall from grace. This, by the way, is yet another twisted branch from the same misguided Dodger tree that gave us Eric Gagne, who for his part is pathologically unable to pronounce his last name properly (unlike Greg Gagne, a Real American who did). That was the problem with "Shay-Juan" Dunston and the true reason he never fulfilled his potential. Now, I'll grant that Chone Figgins has managed to beat the odds, as it were, but every rule has its exceptions, which only serve to prove the rule. And this, incidentally, is why we can expect to see "Jhonny" Peralta go into the tank, as well. And please spare me the bleeding-heart multiculturalism, OK? I don't care how they do things in Curacao or Quebec or Venezuela; these guys are playing in the U.S. & getting (over)paid in U.S. greenbacks, so they can darn-well respect our cultural norms, viz. our spelling and our pronunciation! Confucius say: when in Rome, do as the ones paying your salary do.
