Sign With the Cubs - A Cubs Parody Song

Sometime last summer, my wife started playing Chappell Roan nonstop. I admit I hadn't heard her stuff before, and I know that at some point she was probably at Lollapalooza and was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, where she performed one of her signature hits, Pink Pony Club. If you're not an ancient like me, you probably know this song has to do with a bar that Roan visited when she moved to LA. Fittingly, the Los Angeles Dodgers have been a thorn in the side of the rest of MLB, including our favorites, the Chicago Cubs, who lost out on the Roki Sasaki sweepstakes and then on Tanner Scott and Kirby Yates. I am one who thinks the Cubs team assembled so far is competitive and should make the postseason, but yeah it does sting to not be able to compete with the Dodgers, as long as they have some roster spots left to fill I guess.

Anyway, here's a song parody, maybe I can hunt down Danny Rockett later and see if he wants to record it since I haven't played an instrument in over 20 years.

SIGN WITH THE CUBS
A parody of "Pink Pony Club" by Chappell Roan

I know...the Cubs had made some trades

But they couldn't keep free agents from signing with LA

Why not come play in a special place

Where loving fans will cheer you on every single day

Cubs have a banger team...should win the NLC

But there's no Tanner Scott, no Roki Sasaki

Because the Dodgers spent, won't care 'bout CBT

And all the salaries are deferred till '33!

[CHORUS]

The system is dumb

The math doesn't work, but the deals still get done, oh Dodgers

They could have been Cubs

But they prefer the sun

With Shohei and Decoy, I think they all should have

Signed with the Cubs

Could've been a legend had you 

Signed with the Cubs

Dealing and mashing down on

Clark and Addison

Could've had something special if you

Signed with the Cubs...signed with the Cubs

King Tuck and Pressly in the door

Got some healthy pitching depth and gonna add some more

Marquee and Pat Hughes on the call

Every Friday afternoon we get to say "Play ball"

That Dodgers "super team," where's Mookie gonna play?

Who will they DFA? How many 60-day'd?

Your contract value now, it won't be present day

We're gonna see a cap in the next CBA

[CHORUS]

I think in Twenty-Twenty-Five

We'll just play the games and see whose pitchers stay alive

And Dodgers, when you come to play

I hope those guys see Wrigley and regret it every day, knowing

[CHORUS]

Wrigley's gonna be banging...

[Fade]

The original, it's a bopper I tell ya.